[ArnGtr]

So She was my second love. we’re in our mid 20s. We met online, dated for a year and half. She was a little bit on the immature side as an individual. She has a mind of her own. She likes to dictate things, She never apologizes when she makes a mistake, if we had a quarrel and i am wounded cause of the way she treated me or spoke to me she has never once come to me to comfort me. It was always me that has to take the first step to mend things.
She didn’t want my family to be close to us, she didn’t like me buying my siblings any gifts even if it was just 20$. She didn’t like it when I say we can take care of her elderly mom and dad after marriage.

On top of this she Broke up with me twice in between.Both times the reasons were outside us. first it was her family is too big and rich and that i wont fit in it. But i managed to get her back after a day of convincing talks. Second time was again because She felt like i was the wrong person after she spent a week on a vacation with her friends and family. This time, she came back on her own in a day saying she never meant to break up, she was “Just confused” and unsure how we’ll be together.

I relaly love her still and I’ve ever been mean to her. I’ve had a break up before so I treasure relationships. I did my best to treat her as my queen.
She spends 5 – 6 hours a day with me. Loves my company, we had great sex. A couple of months ago she asked me to move in closer to her. as we live in different states. She urged me so much that i ended up selling my small company i was running to move in to the same town as her and took a job here for her. Just one week after i moved closer (not int he same house). She suddenly came to me and said she can’t do it. Because her parents think i am not the right guy. And broke up. I did so much to get her back but she was cold and cruel. She completely ignored me, blocked me on FB. She said it was a mistake this relationship.

Now I know She didn’t treat me right, I do deserve someone who appriciates me but why can I not forget her? I still cry for her once a week or twice aweek at night. I still get depressed for no reason when i think about her. I am scared to see her pictures on fb. I am scared to hear about her through mutual friends. I am scared to know if she is dating someone else. I am scared to see anything that tells me shes gone. I am trying to move on but Why can’t i stop loving her? the mean person as she is. dumping me after i made such big life decisions for us…

I have stopped contact with her but i so badly want to talk to her, I want to ask what i did wrong, i want to ask if it was right what she did to us. How long before i heal? Will i ever be able to be normal and smile all the time? I am generally a positive and fun person to be with but all i do is be depressed or talk about her when i am with my friends.

What is the best way to heal from an unhealthy addiction to the wrong person like this?

Aaron

[AskApril Masini]

I don’ think you have an addiction. I just think you’re hurt because you were in love, and the relationship didn’t work out. You know that it’s not the right relationship for you, but you’re having trouble moving on. This is normal.

The way people get over relationships is to fill the void left by the old relationship with new energy. You can focus on your career. You can get out there and volunteer to help people who have problems that are different than your break up. For instance, you can work as a Big Brother with boys from underprivileged areas. You can work at a pet shelter or a cancer ward in a hospital. You can fill your free time by getting together with friends and family who are fun, supportive, and will introduce you to new people. And you should start being friendly and flirtatious with other women. Smile at 20 new women each day — just smile. Make small talk. And join a gym if you don’t already belong because putting the negative energy into positive work, is a great way to get over the heartache of a breakup and move forward by taking good care of yourself, in a social situation.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go for you.

[ArnGtr]

Thankyou, Yea i am already working out on my physic to stay fit and focusing on my career. smiling at 20 new ladies sounds like a fun challenge.

But there is still a big part of me that wants to give her more chance. Not that she is waiting for a chance, in fact i don’t even know if she will care to respond if i speak to her. She cried so much when she last spoke over the phone and then 2 days later she texted and said its over. but since then they way she spoke felt like she has already fallen out of love or forced herself to believe we’re not meant to be. Now we’ve been on a no contact mode for over a month. Do you think i’d be a blunder mistake to try and give it another try? We have had so much time and emotions invested in each other April. Also if she ever came to me after 6 months or a year and told me she made a mistake and i was with someone else. It’d kill me to pieces. I wouldn’t wanna be in such a situation. How long do you think i should be in this no contact mode before i try and talk to her for another shot at this.. that is IF you think I could try it.

~A

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]Do you think i’d be a blunder mistake to try and give it another try?[/quote]

Yes.

[quote]How long do you think i should be in this no contact mode before i try and talk to her for another shot at this.. that is IF you think I could try it.[/quote]

I don’t think you should give it a try any more. I think you should move on. You won’t heal from the break up until you do.

[Member]

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