"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Unsure and miserable

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  • #7642
    mntomori
    Member #373,773

    This new guy came to my school and we hit it off right away. It started with me helping out with school work and eventually we’d speak for hours on end, we became best friends. A month later my friend found out that he was planning on asking me out and within the same week he did. I was over the moon because he was everything I ever dreamed about. We were both very awkward people but together our conversations were always pleasant and we’d make each other laugh all the time, it was never uncomfortable. A month later he started acting distant, ignoring my messages and even avoiding me and sitting far away in class. When I confronted him about it he said simply through a phone call that he thought we should just split. I was devastated, I mean it came so out of the blue without any explanation, after being so close! Things got kind of tense, I sent him a message asking about some things but he ignored that as well. Now I’m just wallowing in self pity, this split happened ages ago now and I still can’t get him out of my mind because I see him everyday. Things are almost back to normal, we have the same chemistry as before when we talk in person, but it breaks my heart because he hardly comes up to me anymore, and never sends me messages. But every time I try to move on he says/does something that makes me think he likes me again. I wish I knew what happened because we never argued, and I also wish I knew how to get his attention back. I know I should probably move on but I don’t think I can. Please help, I have no idea what to do about this.

    #34144

    I’m so sorry you’re miserable. The bottom line is that he rejected you. It happens — and it’s simply a sign that the two of you aren’t compatible. You didn’t do anything wrong. Not everyone is a match, and he was clear with you pretty early on in dating that he decided he didn’t want to date you any more,, which, while painful, is actually a gift. Lots of guys aren’t so straightforward. The best way to get over this, especially since you see him regularly in class, is to start setting your sites elsewhere. Flirt with other guys. Smile or flirt with 20 (yes, 20!) new guys every day. Get busy — exercise, socialize, fill your calendar and do nice things for yourself. 😉 Eventually, I promise, he won’t be the catalyst for these bad feelings — but you have to do your part and be proactive about looking for someone new to date. 🙂

    #34294
    mntomori
    Member #373,773

    Thank you so much for the advice! I’ve been speaking to my other male friends a lot more recently, and oddly enough he seems to feel slightly jealous. In any case right now I’m focusing on what makes me happy, and it has been getting easier if only a little.

    #34307

    You’re welcome. 🙂

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