[xxxconfused]

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and last week we had a small argument and he said he needs to break up. We talked about it and i agreed with him. We have been together since we were 18 and never really been single. I am quite controlling and dont like him going out all the time.. I have tried to be better but my insecurities get in the way.

He said that he still loves me but he has doubts about whether he will spend the rest of his life with me because he doesnt know any different. He then text me when he got home to see if i was ok and to say that he just need to stand on his own two feet.I have felt like this before but loved him so much so didnt say anything.

He then text me two days later asking to meet up because he missed talking to me. I said know because i didnt want to be so available and forgive him like i usually do.He than said well let me know if you change your mind.
Now he is texting me sayin that he tinks he was wrong and that all he can think about is me and he cant imagine his life without me. I said i wouldnt get back with him if he wasnt 100% sure its what he wants and that i have to move on. He got very angry and said he’s sorry he shouldnt have text me. I feel like i shouldnt just give in that quick to him after what he did but I’m scared he may not ask me again or want me back in a few weeks?

Now im regretting this and i no i would b taking the easy way out if i went back but i just miss him so much. I know we need this time apart to find ourselves but i would like to talk to him. I dont know what to do. Should i give him his space and let him come back to me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You and your boyfriend don’t really know any other relationships except the five year one you’ve had with each other since the age of 18. The problem is that it sounds like you’re not ready to marry each other, and while you love each other, there’s no momentum left in the relationship (except fear), and while you’d like to see what else is out there — you’re scared. I understand. Because you’ve never dated anyone else it probably seems like a big, black void out there if you’re not with each other.

People usually feel better about breaking up and moving on when they’ve had a betrayal or a violent act or some very clear wrong that they use to walk away and feel righteous about the break up. When you’ve outgrown a relationship where there is nothing wrong with the other person, it seems wrong to walk away and move on because you’re afraid that what you have is better than what you may or may not find “out there”.

The reality is that this relationship has run it’s course. Your boyfriend wants to see what else is out there for him — and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. But do you really want to be with him for five more years knowing he’s wondering what else is out there? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who knows what’s out there and is so grateful to have found you?

I know that this break up is hard because it seems like it’s over nothing since you had no drama. But the truth is that feeling you have that you’re not sure he’s going to want you again in a few weeks, is important. You did the right thing, and rather than looking back, look forward.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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