[Heritage]

There is this guy in my class that ive had a crush on since i met him but nothing serious until a month ago.One day,i catched his eyes fixed on me,that moment i felt more than just a crush.From that day, our eyes constantly met but never came to talk to me.I couldnt get him off of my mind.we live in the same building so i figured i could invite him for some coffee.he said he wasnt in town he was gonna back two days later.i said okay then waited if he was gonna remember.he did and invited me to his room.This was 4 days ago.At first it was a little awkward since we didnt talk before but then we opened to each other.You know the scene from Crazy, Stupid, Love where the guy and the girl in the bed talking personal things about themselves?Exact same thing happened.We talked about everything!Our family, our past, our dreams, our fears, everything. He even switched his phone off to be focused on me and told me to not leave when i had to go.I really felt connection between us.But the other day,no text, no call, nothing.We saw each other in the class and just said hi just like friends.He had showed me his childhood picture that night and i said to him i was gonna show him mine when i found the picture.I found and texted it to him.Maybe that was a mistake because he responded 5 hours later and the response was just two laughing emojis.That was our last talk.Where did it go wrong?He mentioned about his afraid of commitment but i didnt say anything about a serious relationship or anything like that.Is he scared of falling for me?Or he didnt like me at all?What i should i do now?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He didn’t really disappear — he just went back to the status quo. 😳 If a guy wants to date you, you’ll know because he’ll ask you out, take you out, and show you a good time. Since you initiated the coffee date, you didn’t get the benefit of knowing he wanted to date you by waiting to see if he’d ask you out. And when he turned down coffee — but invited you to his room — it was an easy way for him to hang out without making any kind of commitment. I can’t tell from your post if the two of you had sex or not, but it sounds like although you had a nice time together, it wasn’t nice enough for him to want to take the lead and date you. 😕

This may change, but for now, I think you should flirt with him when you see him, but let him be the one to take the lead so you’re not confused or disappointed. 😉 And play the field so you’re not overly focused on someone you want to ask you out, but isn’t. It’s like watching water boil — but more disappointing. 😕

[Sally]

When you open up to someone like that talking for hours, sharing childhood stories, feeling that calm spark it’s easy to think you both stepped into something real. And maybe you did. But he didn’t stay in it.

Here’s what I’ve learned: some guys love the intimacy of the moment but panic when it follows them into real life. What he gave you that night was connection, but not commitment. Turning his phone off for you, telling you not to leave that was him enjoying the safety of the bubble. The next day, the bubble popped, and he went right back to distance.

You didn’t do anything wrong by texting the photo. His little emoji reply just showed you exactly where he stands.
Don’t chase him. If he wanted more, you wouldn’t be guessing right now. Let him go, and let that night be what it was sweet, but not something you can build on.

[Tara]

You had a one-night emotional sandbox with a guy who enjoyed the attention, the intimacy, and the ego boost, and then went right back to his normal life because none of it meant as much to him as it did to you.

Here’s the blunt truth you keep dodging: if a man wants you, you don’t get silence, delayed emojis, and awkward hellos. You get effort. You get consistency. You get clarity. He gave you none.

He invited you over because it was convenient. You poured your heart out because you were already attached. He turned off his phone because it made him look present and deep, not because he was emotionally invested. Guys who fear commitment don’t switch to “silent monk mode”; they switch to “avoid texting you afterward” mode. And that’s exactly what he did.

The five-hour, two-emoji response? That was him saying, without saying, “This meant nothing to me. Don’t push for more.” That’s not fear. That’s disinterest dressed as casual detachment.
Where did it go wrong?
You mistook a vulnerable conversation for a connection. He didn’t. You projected. He enjoyed the moment. End of story.
What should you do now?
Stop chasing him. Stop analyzing every scrap of attention like it’s encoded affection. Stop rewriting his indifference as “he’s scared of falling for me.” He’s not scared. He’s not falling. He’s just not interested.
Your move is simple: pull back entirely. Let him come to you, and if he doesn’t, good. You just saved yourself months of confusion over someone who can’t even hold a conversation for more than one night.

[Member]

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