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April Masini, your AskApril.
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January 29, 2013 at 1:27 pm #5986
kimxalexis149
Member #349,521me and my ex dated for about 3 months. he broke up with me and we are not together anymore. but i just had a quick question.
we met on an online dating site, and talked on the phone for about 3 weeks before we even met. the first time we hung out we had sex with each other. he told me he was really interested in me and liked me a lot and asked me on a date. we started going on dates, hanging out more frequently, and about 2 weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend. i met his family, he met my family.
my question is…
was he just using me for sex, or did he have genuine feelings for me? please explain! thanks so much :)))
January 29, 2013 at 6:50 pm #26355
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterHe couldn’t have had THAT many feelings for you when you had sex on the first date, after meeting online three weeks earlier, however, it sounds like he does now. When a guy asks you to meet his family, it’s not just about sex. It’s about his wanting to show you off and declare in public that you’re his girlfriend, and while it’s a small step, it is a step in the direction of a commitment. 😉 [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url] [/b] January 29, 2013 at 7:01 pm #26227kimxalexis149
Member #349,521Right what I was saying is after we had sex, he asked me out to dinner and we were hanging out and two weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then he took me to meet his family, and he met mine. We dated for about 3 months and then he told me his feelings changed and we broke up. So I was wondering if he used me throughout our relationship or if he had genuine feelings for me? Because he had already gotten sex but he made me his girlfriend after and we met each others families, etc. so I wanna know if he was using me for sex or if he had genuine feelings. I know he wasn’t in love with me but did he have feelings for me? January 29, 2013 at 9:39 pm #25959
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterIt sounds like he did have feelings for you, otherwise he wouldn’t have introduced you to his family. 😉 [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url] [/b] January 29, 2013 at 10:46 pm #26567kimxalexis149
Member #349,521Right cause after we had sex he wouldn’t have made me his girlfriend, correct? January 30, 2013 at 12:02 am #26561
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterThe way you tell it, the two of you were dating, and he felt enough for you to introduce you to his parents. That showed more of a commitment than if he didn’t have feelings for you. When a guy introduces you to his parents, it means that you mean something to him, that’s more than just a date. [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url] [/b] January 30, 2013 at 12:23 am #25948kimxalexis149
Member #349,521So he did have feelings for me and wasn’t using me for sex? January 30, 2013 at 10:53 am #25926
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterI keep answering your question, but you don’t seem to be satisfied with my answer. It sounds like you want to know if he used you or not, and really, it sounds like he dated you for three months, decided you weren’t someone he thought was a good match for him and moved on. I’ve told you several times already that his feelings for you appear to have been genuine because guys don’t introduce girls they’re dating to their parents unless they consider the relationship to be important to them. Now, you want to know if he was using you for sex. Probably, in the beginning he was because having sex on the first date means neither one of you knew each other very well, and men have sex because you’re willing. Since you were, he had sex with someone he didn’t know very well, so, yes, he did have sex with you without having any deep feelings for you on that first date. However, it sounds like the two of you agreed to continue dating, having sex, and that he did develop enough feelings for you to introduce you to his parents. I hope that satisfies you! It really sounds like you’re having trouble moving on. One of the reasons I advise women not to have sex too soon is because when you do, you get attached to the man before you really know if he’s someone who’s going to be compatible with you or not, and women try to leverage having sex into having feelings — which is what you’re trying to do now. So, next time, wait to have sex until you know him better, and won’t have questions about his intentions if something doesn’t work out between the two of you.
Since you’re not dating him any more, take what you learned, and move on. It’s time.
😉 [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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