[SuzanneRose0687]

I recently got into a relationship with a guy who attends school 45 minutes away from me. We’ve known one another for about 8 months, but we’ve been and off talking. About a month ago, he finally asked me out. Despite the distance, and the fact that he’s in med school, I said yes. Things have been pretty good with us, but lately things have changed. Since last Monday, he has barely talked to me, and we usually talk everyday for at least four hours. He said he’s been crazy at work and med school and has been so busy sleeping, working, and going to school. He says that he still loves me and misses me like crazy. But, yet again, he hasn’t talked to me all week. I feel like he’s trying to push me away without just telling me. What do I do? Should I just stop trying and see what he does? Do I assume we’re over?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re in a long distance relationship with a medical school student, and you’ve been together for just one month. You’re still getting to know each other, and part of that process is that you’re getting to see how much time he has for you. The first month of any relationship is not necessarily how the rest of the relationship will play out, so this is a time to pay attention. 😉 So, although you started out talking for four hours a day on the phone, surely you understand that that is [i]impossible[/i] for a medical school student to keep up. And if he becomes a physician, he won’t be able to spend four hours a day on the phone with you either. 😕

My advice is that you readjust your expectations for a long distance relationship as well as one with a medical school career on his plate. Decide if this is going to work for you or not. Long distance relationships are not for everyone, and you may do better with someone who is local and who you can see more often. If you do want to stay with him, understand that he’s really busy. He’s also used to the four hour a day phone call, and perhaps knowing he can’t do that any more, he’s resorted to all or nothing — in other words, he’s only going to contact you when he has that block of time to give you — which is going to be less often than it was in the first month of dating. And if he feels you need four hours a day on the phone, he may decide that this relationship isn’t going to work for him.

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[SuzanneRose0687]

I should probably clear a few things up. When I say we would talk for almost four hours every night, I don’t mean four hour phone calls. (I have a lot to say, but not that much lol.) We would text on and off for four hours, but I get what you’re saying. I guess my main issue is that I have told him several times that he can easily just tell me he’s busy, and I’ll be fine because I’m just as busy as him. I’m his number one fan and supporter, and my issue isn’t with him being a medical student. Being completely ignored 24/7, for the past three weeks isn’t him being busy, in my opinion, it’s personal choice. Do you think giving him space and backing off is a good idea?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes, I do think it’s a good idea. 🙂 Let him come to you — and when he does, your job is to be enticing, fun, sexy and happy to hear from him, all without being clingy or needy. 😉 This is part of the adjustment period, as well as the getting to know him (and him you) period. Remember that dating is a process, not a race to the finish line. 🙂 Figure out if this man continues to be someone you want to invest in.

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