Thank you for your kind words and your question. 🙂
It’s very hard to be a good friend when you want to fix things. The best thing you can do is to understand that it’s not your job to fix things. As a friend, especially a friend to someone who has a new lymphoma diagnosis, your job is to be an ear for her to vent to, a voice if she asks for your opinion, and an honest person who can not only be there for her if she needs you, but who can express your own feelings — fear, gratitude, anger, and whatever else you have — to her. Relationships, whether they’re romantic, friendships, familiar or otherwise, are all dances. Sometimes you lead; sometimes you follow, but you stay with your person in some form.
Some things you can say to her are:
* How can I help you?
* I want to be here for you, but I’m not sure how to do that. Will you tell me what you need?
* Would you like me to come visit you?
You can also check in with her without being cloying. If you don’t hear from her, you can let her know that you’re concerned you haven’t heard from her, but when she’s ready, you want her to know you’re there. You can send uplifting gifts — candles, books, favorite foods, silly mugs, etc.
I hope that helps.
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