[meya]

I hope this won’t be so long but here’s my problem.
I have been dating a guy for 2 days, it’s a LDR but we are really compatible. We met on forum that’s about something both of us are into , and we began talking normally and little by little we got closer and more intimate without realizing it. We have SO much in common, to be honest he always talked about how compatible we are, and I agree that we are.
I thought we were meant to be, so did he. Among hundred of thousands of different people from all over the world, we found each other sharing same religion and even roots ( I know it sounds stupid but idk :(.

Anyways, everything was perfect, we talked every day for hours, we were productive and discussed many serious topics and he said he wants to marry, the plan was the same since we met, that he comes to propose and meet my family this summer.
For two years we did everything together, we would watch movies/ shows together, listen to music together, even shop for each other’s clothes together. We always felt great and he always said that I’m his ” home”, and tbh, that’s what he is to me, he feels like my home also.

We agreed he comes to meet me for the first time last year, to be exact on December 2014.
3 days before the flight’s date, he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and that he thinks he just was used to me because we spent so much time together.
I knew he was lying or confused for that matter but we broke up and 2-3 weeks later he came back to me, saying he missed me and realized he loves me and that he wants no one else but me, saying he is sure more than ever that I’m the one for him, and promised to come to meet me soon when he has a break on March.

After we got back together, things were nice, I kept being careful and he knew it but he kept assuring me everything is Ok and will be Ok and he promised he will make up for December’s mistake.
On February he told me he will book a ticket to come on his spring break on March. The flight was supposed to be on the 13th Friday, but on Thursday morning we were talking and he brought up how his parents might get a divorce and that he might delay it for a day or two, I could tell he was lying and I got mad and then he promised he won’t delay it.
Thursday night, he msged me telling me he can’t come, and that he didn’t get the ticket in the first place. He apologized saying he just wanted to keep me happy and he stopped loving but didn’t want to hurt me so he kept going with it. I was shocked and I just told him that I think he is lying and eventually said goodbye because when he messaged me I was sleeping. two days later I asked him to clarify somethings but he said he thinks it’s better if we keep ourselves distanced for a while.
PS: for like days since the beginning of March he kept telling me what he wants to do with me and where to go and all that things but at the end was like ” I didn’t get it” even though he told me he got it at he end of February, so you can tell how crazy this is making me.
I don’t know why he is like this ><
Can you please tell me what it means?!
And I mean it when I say we were perfect, I still believe he’s the one, and he mentioned that to me many times as well. Both of us are what each of us want to be honest, we are young ( 21) but I don’t know, I always felt we are more mature than our age because both of us went through the same things.

So what do you think? he might come back ( I think he might, just like the first time, because we truly love each other and we are great together, no one can ask for any better really), but if he does come back how can I be sure he won’t bail out on me again? :/

[AskApril Masini]

Have you ever met in person in the two years you’ve been in a LDR?

[meya]

[quote=”April Masini”]Have you ever met in person in the two years you’ve been in a LDR?[/quote]

No, the first time was supposed to be in December ( when he first broke up with me, 3 days before the flight’s date)
and the 2nd time was supposed to be 2 weeks ago.

[AskApril Masini]

Got it. Thank you.

In general, when a guy’s words and behavior don’t match up — for instance, he says he wants to marry you, but doesn’t ever meet you in person — trust his behavior. So, the fact that he hasn’t made the trip to see you in 2 years, indicates he’s not interested in anything serious, no matter what he says.

Second, when it comes to LDRs, which are different than in town relationships, if a guy you meet online hasn’t made a real life date within three months, you should move on. He’s not that into you. 😳

I think you should realize that you’re not lost at all — you’re disappointed. You want him to be a guy who wants you and will do what it takes to date you, and he’s not that guy. My advice is to move on and find someone who you can date in person, and get to know beyond the internet and phone. 😉

I hope that helps.

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[meya]

[quote=”April Masini”]Got it. Thank you.

In general, when a guy’s words and behavior don’t match up — for instance, he says he wants to marry you, but doesn’t ever meet you in person — trust his behavior. So, the fact that he hasn’t made the trip to see you in 2 years, indicates he’s not interested in anything serious, no matter what he says.

Second, when it comes to LDRs, which are different than in town relationships, if a guy you meet online hasn’t made a real life date within three months, you should move on. He’s not that into you. 😳

I think you should realize that you’re not lost at all — you’re disappointed. You want him to be a guy who wants you and will do what it takes to date you, and he’s not that guy. My advice is to move on and find someone who you can date in person, and get to know beyond the internet and phone. 😉

I hope that helps.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

To be honest, we agreed since the beginning that we won’t meet soon at all, it’s not really easy for us. Both of our families are conservative and meeting anytime is not an option. We thought meeting few months before he proposes would be the best.
He was 19 when we first met, and he started working few months after we met so he can save up for himself and us I think. So the meeting is not an issue to be honest. I just don’t get why he is not honest about the real reason behind what he does, and why he keeps breaking up.

He did send gifts btw, so did I. For birthdays for example.

[AskApril Masini]

He’s not honest because he wants to keep you in the game, without honoring his commitments — in this case, a visit to you. 🙁 People aren’t honest when they don’t want to disappoint someone because then they feel responsible for the sadness. He is telling you what you want to hear, as much as he can, so that he can keep you happy, as much as he can. He doesn’t want to disappoint you because that’s an emotional burden on him.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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