First of all it sounds like you got your heart broken and now you don’t want to open it to anyone again because you’re afraid of getting hurt again. That’s normal, but you’re not going to live your life to the fullest unless you take the risk of getting hurt and know that you are resilient and smart enough to choose more wisely next time — and if you make a mistake (because who marries the first, second, third, fourth or fifth person they date anyway?? 😆 ), you’re going to learn from it and be grateful for the opportunity to get onto the right track again. 🙂
Second of all, I wish that there was meat thermometer you could stick into a woman’s side and and see the mercury rise to the “trust” level so you’d KNOW FOR SURE she wouldn’t break your heart! But there isn’t anything like that. All you have are your instincts and your intelligence and I can tell from your post you have both of those things. But the problem is that if you close off your heart and treat a date like an acquaintance for four months, you’ll never get to know how things are really going.
There are different ways to learn about a person: You can listen to what she says. You can pay attention to how she reacts to what you say. You can watch her behavior with other people she’s had in her life long-term and you can pay attention to where what she says and what she does does and doesn’t sync up.
Your test that any woman who “trusts you enough not to use a condom with you when having sex” 😯 isn’t a test of trust. It’s stupidity. Use protection! Having conversations on deeper levels are ways of getting to know someone so you can begin to decide if everything you know about her adds up to a trusting relationship. Expressing affection and learning how she reacts is another way of getting to know her — if you hold back, you lose the opportunity to learn about her (and yourself). If a woman reacts negatively, try to understand why instead of writing her off — or writing yourself off. Things are not that black and white.
I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].
