[Anonymous]

I am 4 years married and I am in love with another man who is more ideal than my husband. I am no longer happy with my husband but everytime I see this man, he completes my day. But my problem is marriage in our culture is considered sacred so I have to maintain this standard specially that his family has high expectations on me. If I break this law, or if they find out that I am cheating, I would be an enemy. this man understands my disposition and he is willing to wait for my freedom. It may seem weird but figures tell that this man maybe my soulmate. He was born 1972 and I was born 1981. If we add 7+2=9 and 8+1=9. The years make us 9 years apart. And April his birth month, is the 4th month of the year and September my birth month is 5 months away from april. 4+5=9. What shall I do? I need an advice. I would appreciate it a lot. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have to choose between your family culture and your personal feelings. If you choose your culture, then accept that you can’t have this other man because you’re married and marriage in your family’s culture is sacred and if you divorce, you’ll lose your family ties. Or follow your heart to find Mr. Right, at the risk of losing your family.

You’re about 29 years old and you’re at a crossroads in your life when you have to decide what kind of a person you are, and what your life is going to be like. It sounds like you want this other man, but are too afraid of losing your family ties to come forward and divorce your husband and make a life with this man you’re cheating with.

You can’t continue like this for a very long time because eventually you will reject your husband completely and the affair you’re having will probably be found out. I hope that you can muster up the courage to discover your true self and make a decision.

Let me know if that helps at all. 🙂

[Anonymous]

I appreciate your advice. I found out that this guy is not right ’cause besides me, there are other ladies he’s involved with. Maybe because my husband is not as sweet as him that my attention was diverted to him. However, I am freakin’ dumb ’cause I did chores for him, cleaned his house, washed and fixed his clothes that these other ladies may not have done for him. And I swear, he was really impressed. He let’s me in his house without him (that’s why found out other ladies’ things). It’s fine with me that he’s seeing other ladies because I, too, can’t be with him throughout. If he treasures me, he’ll find me. But if not, then, I let go of him… For now, I consider him special and I’m just happy that I met him. I admit that I am a fool.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re cleaning his house and washing his clothes?? 😯 What — can’t he afford a housekeeper? Wow. Well, if he gets you to do his laundry [i]and[/i] wash the kitchen floors by [i]just flirting with you[/i] — he’s really got some game going. Especially if you’re already married, you KNOW he’s got other women he’s doing this with, too, and you [b]still[/b] pick up a mop for him! Gee, where do you draw the line? Washing his car? Getting his dry cleaning? Grooming the dog?

I hate to break it to you, but there are bona fide cleaning services that would actually pay you good money to do this — WITHOUT risking your marriage or your family traditions! 😮 Housekeepers make decent livings — you don’t have to do this for free. And you certainly shouldn’t think that he’s going to like you because you’re a great maid — although you may get a cleaning job referral out of it. 😕

[Member]

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