[Ambkon2373]

I’ve been in a relationship with my BF for 5 years. During that I had to live with my kids father for 2 but in seperate rooms, he cheated on me multiple times I had an abortion found out he was with another girl and even moved in with her which he promised me he wouldn’t do. I moved out when I could afford it. He and my ex fought bc my ex came to the house and was banging on my windows and etc. I tried to stop them. I found out I was pregnant again. Then had a miscarraige. He got this girl pregnant and didn’t even tell me I found out 4 months later on fb. When the baby was born it was the anniversary of my misscarrage. I felt awful. My ex played me into sleeping with him. I did it one time and never repeated. I sent a couple of pics and stopped less than a weeks time. Then I was fully committed again bc I love my BF. My bf became faithful, even discussed a marriage date. We had signed a lease together. Then my ex sent him the screenshot of the video I didn’t realize he took of us together and the pics over 10minths ago. My bf left stopped our lease and said he was letting go. Now he is saying he is giving me a chance but we aren’t together…he isn’t sure if he can ever get over this. He says he holds grudges and never gets over things and can’t tell me what to do….says he feels Like he owes me this. Says he cares about me and my kids but is angry and also hates me.
What can I do?

[Ask April Masini]

If you focus on shoring up your own life as a single mother (emphasis on [i]single[/i]) this ex-boyfriend that you want back, is more likely to see you as someone who really wants to be with him. It sounds like you were with your ex, and then you were living with that ex while you were with your more recent ex, and then you moved in with your more recent ex, but you cheated on him with your former ex. This more recent ex feels burned, and if you put yourself in his shoes, I’m sure you can see why. 😳 Since you want the more recent ex back, you need to show him that you’re okay on your own and you don’t [i]need[/i] to be with someone. He needs to see that you’re not going to go back to the other ex. That’s why living alone, making a good life for yourself and your kids, is the best way for him to see the kind of person he wants — someone who is not going to run back to your other ex.

As for you, personally, it’s important that you find some closure from that earlier relationship. Since that man is the father of your two children, it’s going to be impossible to not have him in your life, but you have to find closure on the romance so that if bad things happen in life, you don’t run back to him for comfort and sex — especially if you’re with someone else. That’s going to take time, and you processing what happened, who you are and who you want to be. None of this is an easy fix, and because you cheated on this last boyfriend and he’s telling you that he’s trying to forgive you, but he holds grudges, you have to show him your commitment to living a good life that he wants to be part of. 😎

[danielweather]

First things first, your ex could be over you.

I put that one first because it is least likely. And it’s the one you are least likely to want to hear. So… it’s out of the way.

Besides, it takes time to get over someone. It doesn’t just happen overnight. Why do you think you miss your ex so much?

If you could will that love for them away you would wouldn’t you?

And what is the one thing people keep telling you it’s gonna take?
Time, right?

And if time has passed it’s still unlikely, because it generally takes a lot of time.

Then, there’s the pain.

Breakups suck, man… for both the Breaker and the Break-ee. (Is that a word? Well, it is now.)

The pain of a breakup can be comparable to having someone you love pass away.

Now, I will venture to say that everyone reading this has lost someone at some point, even if it was a pet.

After a breakup, you start to wonder some things you might wonder if you lost someone,

[Ask April Masini]

Interesting points! 🙂

[dawghousedus]

It is very serious matter. Everything was going well but your ex. messed up everything due to jealousy. It seems your BF loves you but also make himself ready to accept your past and it is obvious. If you want your Bf back then you should talk to him and assured that there is nothing in between you and your ex. If he really loves you then he will understand you and come back to you.
If he will not do so then it will be better to live alone with your kids and give them a better life.

[dawghousedus]

It is very serious matter. Everything was going well but your ex. messed up everything due to jealousy. It seems your BF loves you but also make himself ready to accept your past and it is obvious. If you want your Bf back then you should talk to him and assured that there is nothing in between you and your ex. If he really loves you then he will understand you and come back to you.
If he will not do so then it will be better to live alone with your kids and give them a better life.

[Lovetalk]

I want to use this medium to thank powerful Dr Amigo wonders for helping me get my broken home back after my wife of 12 years left me for another lady. Two months ago my wife filed for a divorce through her lawyer when we had no issues at all. i was surprised because our family was a very happy one with three beautiful kids that even neighbors were jealous of us. i never knew a man she met at the mall cast a spell on her so she would love him alone and forget about her family. i tried all ways to reach her and make peace ordinarily but i could not because the potency of the spell was so high on her that she could not even get herself. a friend of mine who felt pity for me introduced me to Dr Amigo so i contacted Dr Amigo and told him all about my marital problems. He assured me that he will help me and that my wife will be back to me in 24 hours, i trusted him because he had worked for my friend who wont stop testifying about him. To my greatest surprise, after 24 hours of contacting Dr Amigo and following his advice to provide for what he requested, my wife called and was begging and immediately came back to us and now we are happy family again. i cant stop thanking Dr Amigo and his entire temple.

[Ask April Masini]

I’m glad you’re happy. I’m not an advocate of “spells”. I believe that if you want to work through on a relationship, and make decisions based on your behavior, your goals, and your partner’s behavior and goals, you’ll learn relationship tools that you can take with you into other relationships — whether they’re romantic, parental, workplace, neighborly or any other kind! If you need any help with your current relationships and you’d like me to advise you, I’m more than happy to do so! Let me know if you have any questions in the future. 🙂

[Love Archivist]

If you really want him back, the first step isn’t chasing — it’s pausing. Take a little time to get clear on why you want him back. Is it because you truly believe the relationship still has potential, or because you miss the comfort and routine of having him around? That clarity matters.

If your heart still says he’s worth it, reach out calmly — no begging, no pressure. Just be honest: “I miss what we had, and I’d like to talk when you’re ready.” Then give him space to meet you halfway. If he still cares, he’ll show up.

But here’s the hard truth — if he doesn’t, you’ve got to let that be your closure. You can’t rebuild something alone. Sometimes the best way to get someone back is to genuinely start healing and focusing on you — because that’s when they realize what they lost.

[Nina A]

There’s a point where love turns into chasing proof. You’ve done all you can to show your commitment, but he has to decide if forgiveness is something he’s capable of, not something you can earn. Holding on too tightly to someone who’s still punishing you will only reopen your wounds.

If he’s truly undecided, let him be undecided on his own. You deserve peace that doesn’t make you beg for it. Sometimes stepping back is the only way for someone to see your worth without your pleading. Let your silence speak for your growth.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe… that’s a whole storm you’ve been surviving in 💔 and i can tell you’re still trying to hold it all together, but wake up!! he’s not giving you a chance, he’s keeping you on emotional probation. you already paid for your mistake like ten times over so stop begging for someone who “hates you but cares.” that’s not love!! focus on your peace, your babies, your restart. real forgiveness doesn’t sound like torture. 💅

[Ethan Morales]

This is a highly complex and emotionally charged situation, and it’s understandable why your boyfriend is conflicted. Masini’s response is very solid because it zeroes in on what you can control your life, your choices, and your behavior rather than trying to force him to forgive you or get back together.

He feels burned and conflicted: He’s hurt by your past involvement with your ex (including cheating and shared history with the father of your children). Even though he still cares about you, he struggles with trust and holding grudges. This isn’t about whether he still loves you it’s about whether he can fully forgive and trust again.

You need to stabilize your life as a single mother: By showing independence, responsibility, and stability for yourself and your kids, you demonstrate that you’re serious about your current relationship and that your life is not dependent on him. This creates space for him to consider re-engaging with you without fear of repeated patterns or chaos from the past.

Closure with your ex is essential: Even though your ex is the father of your children and must remain in your life, any lingering romantic or emotional attachment could sabotage your chances. You need to process that past relationship fully so that he sees you as someone who has moved forward and can commit fully to him.

Your actions matter more than words: Forgiveness is built slowly, especially with someone who holds grudges. Showing consistency, transparency, and responsibility in your daily life is the only way to slowly rebuild trust. Any attempt to “force” him back now or to constantly plead for reconciliation could backfire.

Right now, the best path forward isn’t to try to convince him verbally that he should forgive you. It’s to live a life that demonstrates you’re committed, trustworthy, and independent, while giving him the time and emotional space to see that with his own eyes. Over time, if he’s willing, he may come back but that decision is entirely his. You can only control how you present yourself and how you manage your life and children.

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