[Anonymous]

I don’t get attached to people at all,somehow I started dating a girl with no intentions, although she convinced that we were meant to be and bla bla bla, so I went away,we both got really emotional professed love a lot,then we broke up,but she still said we could work things out when I’m back, we had a few fights most for stupid reasons. Lately I found out she already got a new boyfriend ( before that she kept asking if i was moving on and she said she wasn’t too,that we tell everything to each other and if I found someone else I should let her know ), so I decided to talk with her to see how all that happened, she explained that she got really mad once when that guy told her about a girl that wanted to get with him, then she proceed to saying she didn’t realize she could have such feeling for someone, and pretty much sounded like this guy was the love of her live, ( she said he was one of her best friends ).
We dated for 2 months but looked like we were together for year,now in less than 3 weeks she already found a new one. She changed a lot with me while I was away, noways she’s a bitch with me,call me names,pick fights with me,say that I’m pathetic and that I became a psycho since I got home, she’s popular at our university and she’s being saying things about me to all her friends,and she always try to hurt me.

She was my first girlfriend,and I play university soccer so most of the girls just want to be around us to feel/become popular, what makes it even harder to find a girls that actually likes you.For now we are not talking and I’m trying to move on but it’s a lot harder,I feel really anxious to talk with her and I miss her a lot,and I can’t get busy back home, and everything reminds me of her,I have dreaming about her almost every night, and I’ll be seeing her around a lot next year , and I’m just hoping that say ‘dating one of your best friends never works’ is actually true.

[Ask April Masini]

First love is very poignant and deep, but I promise you that you will have many more loves to come. I know that it is hard to get over an ex-girlfriend, but maybe if you step back and accept not just the good times, but who you’ve learned she is as well, you’ll realize that this woman is not Ms. Right for you. 😮

Two months is not a long time, as you know, in spite of your own feelings that it seemed like you were together for a year. The reality is that you didn’t really know her that well until you went through these tough times, and I know it’s hard to believe but tough times in relationships can be wonderful opportunities to see who the other person REALLY is and what their character is like. Your ex-girlfriend, although she had many qualities that you loved, has some less than perfect for you qualities. In fact, I’d tell you she’s categorically NOT Ms. Right.

Knowing that I hope it will be easier for you to look forward instead of back, and to use the discipline you have as an athlete to socialize with new people, new friends, and put yourself in new and positive opportunities to open up your future, and put some distance between you and your past.

I hope that that helps. I know you feel bad, but with time and the discipline I know you have, you’re going to feel better soon.

Join me on Facebook, too — you’ll see and meet all kinds of nice, new people there. Become a free member at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

That helps a lot April.

I’m slowly accepting that it’s over.Although I still have some hope that she and her ‘mr.right’ might break up.I’ve seen and even read about that girls after a breaking up they start dating to move on,so I still have some hope that new relationship of hers won’t last long.

What is most bothering me right now that me and her used to be like best friends,talked everyday and always tell everything to each other,now without talking to her,feels awkward and it kills me,as much as I try I still think about her a lot and lot of things reminds me of her.
I’d like to believe that time doesn’t really matter, what matter is the intensity that things happened,for you have an idea,she was a mess when I left, according to her she never cried that much, and me and her sold things to buy her a plane ticket here,she was going to spend 2 months with me,plus a trip next summer to other country. and at the begging I was the one going there,she mentioned about renting an apartment for me and she would stay with me for a few weeks.

Unfortunately I’d like to know things,and some things that she did doesn’t make sense, like asking me if I’m moving on instead of just telling me,a few days before facebook show me that they were dating,she was the one texting me, and even at night when she was drunk,like she used to do it.Before our last fight that we haven’t talk since ( because after she telling me about mr.right I asked her for my stuff back and a stuffed animal that I was mine and I gave it to her ) even she saying that I’m annoying and saying bad things about me, she kept talking to me.

As we didn’t actually have a reason to break up (distance),and we were perfect together like our friend’s favorite couple,I kept thinking that there’s away to work things out. Moving on is being brutal,someday I’m ‘fine’ and other she’s the only thing I can think about it,and I get depressed,I don’t sleep,and trying to fix things seen easier. Some guy friends told me I should get drunk and forget about her,some that I should be her ‘platonic friend’, some girl friends,tell me that yes she might have moved on,and other for what I told them about us, that’s she’s playing games,and the new boyfriend thing is to drive me crazy (what she told me about how things happened didn’t make sense,like she was giving up on a bunch of things because of me,then 3 weeks later she’s dating one of her best friends saying he’s the love of her life,and the only day I actually acted like I moved on she kept asking things as if I moved on,my expectations about us,after my answer saying she’s ‘sorta’ moving and stuff, seen like she kept pushing to see if I was going to say something ).

I feel lost.

[Ask April Masini]

It’s hard to lose someone you’re crazy about, but that’s exactly what did happen to you, and if you continue to look back or try and bend the truth by saying “some things don’t make sense” to you, to make the break up temporary or ineffective in your own mind, you’re just going to hurt yourself. 😳 It’s natural for her to have mixed feelings and still care for you, but the reality is, she’s now dating someone else and is committed to that other man. That’s her action and that’s what you have to go by if you don’t want to make yourself crazy.

It will help if you stop using the word “we” in and start saying “I” instead. When you write that “we didn’t actually have a reason to break up” you’re trying to fool yourself. SHE had a reason to break up. YOU didn’t. This was her decision, and as hurtful as it is, if you don’t accept it, you’re going to draw out this painful period of healing.

Don’t be lost — know exactly where you stand. On the map, you’re now single and you’re sad, but you have the world in front of you. Decide where to go next. Look forward.

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