[Hippiechick216]

I started talking to a guy off tinder on new years morning. Im 46 and hes 41. Im new to this on line stuff.
Anyhow we really hit it off, we texted for 4hrs the first day, he friend requested me on fb within 10 mins. Only to find out we had a lot of mutual friends, common intrests, etc…
We texted all the next day, and made plans for saturday.
We texted all day on saturday as well, even tho he was at work. So much so, I was totally comfortable meeting him. Felt like I knew him for years.
He picked me up, we stopped and got some beer, and went back to his place so he could shower and we could decide what we were gonna do.
We got to talking about all kinds of different things.
Ok, bad judjement here, beer and alone with a good looking guy! Needless to say, yes I did what Ive never done before…I slept with him.
We got up around noon, he took me home…because a close friend had passed away. He already had other plans, so there was no reason for him to lie.
Upon dropping me off, he said hed get ahold of me later…to let me know what was going on??
I waited till around 3, and texted him a short “u ok?”he said yeah, but would get ahold of me later. I gave him a thumbs up.
Later he texted to tell me how sore his legs were…lol! That he was showering and gonna lay down, he had to work at 11pm.
Only I noticed he was posting stuff on fb that whole time, not sleeping.
He texted me from work, to tell me he only got an hour of sleep.I asked if the browns won..and thats the last I heard from him.
But…he posted on fb, he had trust issues, cuz people have lying issues??
That cant be for me!!
I need help! What should I do, or even think?? Help me please!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Tinder is a hook up site. You both behaved the way most people on Tinder do…. so if you’re looking for a real relationship that is beyond hooking up, Tinder isn’t your best best (understatement!).

Next, you should understand that even if you weren’t on Tinder…. if you meet a guy on Friday (especially online), go on a date the next day, and the date consists of a six pack, a shower and sex at his house, you’ve set the bar pretty low for a relationship. 😕 Let me help you with a couple of basics:

* If you want to be a girlfriend rather than a hook up, you have to walk that walk.

* If you sleep with a guy on the first date, you’ve signaled to him that you’re not someone he’s going to have to chase — and whether or not you believe in this line of thought, the reality I find is that men like to chase and win, and if you give him something to chase after, he’s going to feel a lot better about winning it, then if he gets the same party favor that everyone else gets. So consider structuring your dating life after this idea.

*Also, if you sleep with the guy on the first date, it doesn’t mean he likes you. It means he said what he needed to say to get you into bed. Lots of women mistake sex for love or romance or even affection. While you may feel that way, it doesn’t mean he does. In fact, he probably doesn’t.

Online dating is great — but find some dating sites that are prone to relationships, not hookups if that’s what you want — and take it slow if you want a real relationship. Get to know him before you invest the emotional, sexual, and other types of energy. And remember — it’s a process! So learn what you can and get back out there. 🙂

Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Hippiechick216]

Thank you so much for the helpful advice…
But, since I posted…he texted me when he got to work. Said he thought I was being mean??
He saw what I posted on fb last nite! Ok?? My post had absolutly nothing to do with him…
I explained who it was intended for, and why. But, I got no response, for over an hour.
When he texted to say sorry he was busy and couldnt talk.
Again, ok? I didnt say anything! But, he posted 2 things on fb about his last relationship??
I have decided, I dont even care! What can I say to him, to let him know not to bother texting here and there etc…I just want left alone! Without being ” mean?
Pleasehelp me!! I just want this huge mistake behind me!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t engage any more. Just move on. You don’t need to get the last word in — just focus on a positive future. This wasn’t really a relationship, so you don’t really need closure. Next! 😉

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