[backinthegame]

I’m a 26 yo female, blonde, blue eyes. I’m in an advanced program in college, and at a recent college function, I was approached by a man in my program, he’s 27. I’ve always thought of guys like him to be out of my league so I was quite surprised when he showed a lot of genuine interest towards me. I knew him from the program but hadn’t spoken to him before the event. He told me that he had noticed me a while ago but was looking for a good time to talk to me.
He was in touch with my by phone for next 3 days and asked me out the next day. I accepted although it was more casual b/c again we study together. He thanked me for the date, asked if he could see me again and pre-planned several activities together for the upcoming month.I responded with interest.
The next day after the date he went away for a week (it’s true) and when he came back I didn’t hear from him anymore.
I then saw him in school, we spoke and he was noticeably interested – looking in my eyes, asking questions, blushing, etc. We exchanged a few text messages the same evening where he again mentioned “getting together” but this time it was vague and more like “we should get together sometime” without specifying when or making plans or asking me out.
I haven’t heard from him for a couple of days since.
Should I let it go at this point? Despite my interest I have no plans to initiate contact first b/c I don’t think it’s right. Now especially, it will just come off as desperate and clingy. Thanks.

[AskApril Masini]

His deal is that he’s lost interest. 🙁 When a guy wants to date you he will. And just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean he’s still interested. It just means he’s nice to you. When there is no drama involved, it’s often more difficult to figure out what’s going on, but when a guy wants to ask you out and be with you, he’ll find a way to do it. You’re absolutely right not to chase after him. My advice is that if you like him, to flirt with him when you do see him and try to rekindle the spark that led to him asking you out, and/or figure out what about the dating process may have led him to his decision not to ask you out again. It may not have anything to do with you, and everything to do with him, but if there is something about the two of you together that you can pinpoint and adjust, you may want to dial up the flirting to try and get him to ask you out. In the meantime, consider other opportunities and don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Ironically, you’ll be more attractive with more going on in your life — including other dates. 😉 I hope that helps!

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[backinthegame]

Thank you April! I appreciate your insight. This is what I figured. I saw him in school again and he was nice and polite, but I could see he wasn’t interested. Oh well.

[backinthegame]

Thank you April! I agree with you and I also think I know why… Oh well. I saw him today in school again and he smiled, said hi, was very nice but that was it. I can see he’s not interested. Bummer but what can you do.

[AskApril Masini]

Next! 😉

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[rabi]

I feel like I am such an evil person, I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and I have brought up the idea of dating around a few times before and I know he doesn’t want to.I still pretty young and have only been in one other relationship that lasted almost 2 years. Within a few weeks of breaking up I started to date my current boyfriend. I know that I care about him and I do love him but I honestly don’t know what else there is out there. He is the only guy I have ever been with and I don’t know if that is what is keeping me with him. I don’t want to throw away a relationship with someone who I do care about and know will never hurt me just to see what else is out there.

[AskApril Masini]

I would love to answer your question, but first…. please start a new thread with this post. You can do so with the “new topic” button the relationship forum page. I’ll look out for your new posting and answer you as soon as I see it! 🙂

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