[Anonymous]

I have 3 different choices… which one should I choose?

1. (current) I have been dating this one guy for a little over a year now and we really click. He is fun to be around and he treats me really good. His family loves me and I love them. I feel a part of his family. I am physically attracted to him (this is rare). He has that “smooth talking” quality that convinces me to do anything. He complements me every day on anything and everything. He has all the time in the world and would spend every second with me if I let him (i have homework). He has made me happier than any other person. However, he has also made me more unhappy than any other person has. When we fight he says unnecessary things just to hurt me. He also shoved me out and locked me out of my dorm room twice and I had to go to a friends place while he stayed in my room (all girls floor). My parents hate him for this..they are afraid he will grow to be more violent. I am also suspicious of this and he wont go to counseling for it. I go to an Ivy League school and he works at Wal-Mart. Sometimes its hard to speak intellectually to him without breaking things down. Im atheist and he is christian..this is a problem with kids. He wants to get married? We are both in our early 20s. I love rock music and he loves rap. I know this seems unnecessary if you haven’t encountered this type of relationship before.. but it is an unusual barrier that is always between us. I hate the flat bill hats..and the other steriotypical clothing items that are associated with rap music. I dont wear clothing according to the music i listen to.. that kind of thing annoys me. Hes a skinny white boy. he looks dumb. anyway….

2. I dated this guy for 4 years.. before I dated the guy above.. and he still loves me and still wants to be with me. I love his family but it took like 3 years for them to get used to me and vice verse. He is extremely stubborn. When we talk on the phone hes one of those people that doesnt say anything for 10 min straight..ugh. He always says im beautiful unlike the guy above who complements me on tons of different things every day. He is very busy with two jobs. I know he would be a great dad and a great husband. He is a pretty boring boyfriend though. Maybe its because I want alot of attention. We are both atheist. We both have the same political views as well. He would never be a violent person. We have exactly the same taste in music. I have never stopped thinking about him since the day I left him. I do miss him..but I dont know why.. Its hard to imagine kissing him.. cause I wasn’t really physically attracted to him as much as the guy above.

3. Find someone new. Is there really a Mr Perfect out there somewhere?

Before choosing option 3 please tell me why 1 and 2 are not good..

[Ask April Masini]

Option 1 is not a good choice because of the violence your boyfriend displayed towards you. Your parents are not dummies and they know what’s right for you. Listen to them and find a guy who isn’t violent with you. The bad boy demeanor and the sexual attraction don’t trump violence. Sorry. 🙁

Option 2 sounds like you’re looking for someone to be with because you don’t want to be without a boyfriend. There is a reason why the two of you broke up when you did, and I think you should examine that reason before seriously considering dating him again.

More likely, there is someone out there who is a better match for you than either of these two guys. I know that you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend and be alone, but that’s the only way you’re going to be available for Mr. Right.

I hope that helps! 😀

Check out my newly forming Facebook Group, AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. It’s free to become a member, and the conversations will continue there. 😀

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