[Moonatic]

dear april,
a couple of weeks ago, i met a childhood friend of mine and we started chatting via an internet-community and text messaging.
unfortunately, i have noticed that he is not always telling the truth:

1. first he told me, he wanted to go on holiday with his ex-girlfriendin in september 2010, but then broke up with each other. later he said, they separated 8 months ago.
2. he wrote me a message via internet-community and i didnt reply. a couple of hours later i received a text message, telling me he forgot his iphone at a friends place (so he couldnt read my reply) an only had his business phone with him.
a couple of days later, he told me his iphone should be READY (sounded like broken) till we will meet on friday.
3. he told me, he wants to pick me up with his car, which should also BE READY till friday.

why does he do that?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see the lies you’re talking about. 😕 Maybe it’s the way you’ve written it, but nothing you’ve said here seems like he’s not telling you the truth. If he said his car was in the shop, what makes you think it isn’t? ❓ ❓ If he left his phone at a friend’s house, why isn’t it plausible that he also had to take it into the shop for repair, too?

Fill me in a little more…..

If he is lying then the question of why he’s lying isn’t as important as the question about why you’re dating a liar. If this was a husband, child or family member, I’d understand why you want to figure out what’s going on in their life to make them lie, but this is someone you met up with a couple of weeks ago. You’re not invested in him, and if something doesn’t feel right, then move on. But if the two of you are just not communicating clearly, and the “lies” are not lies, but faulty communications, then all you have to do is try and clarify or ask for clarification when you’re uncertain about something he says. 😀

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Moonatic]

dear april,
sry for not replying sooner, but i just wanted to see, how things between the guy and me would develop.

so, after i confronted him with the facts a couple of times, he admitted he has got debts, he is trying to pay now.

we have met a couple of times (he wants to see me every day, but i only have time at the weekends. plus, i also want to meet friends at the weekends….so i see him about once or twice a week).
he also textes me every day (from 9 a.m. till he goes to bed.)

on the other hand, when we meet, he doesnt try to kiss me, touch me or anything. i once even slept at his place but he didnt even try to cuddle.
so i asked him, why he behaves like that (sending sweet flirty messages, taking me out for dinner and even making plans for new years eve with me, but not telling me, what he wants).
he said, he really likes me, but
1. the fact that i had really bad experiences with guys in the past, made him feel insecure.
2. he wants to be sure, we have the same morals, same interests, etc…..so the relationship would work out.
(somehow thats my mistake….i told him, that if another guy was going to break my heart, i would need a psychologist).

the thing i am wondering about now is, that this could also be an excuse…..i think it could be possible, he is still into his ex-girlfriend. for e.g. he doesnt want to take me to places, she is the same night. another thing is, that he started commenting on my faceb.. wall…. in the beginnning those comments were shown on his wall, but after a couple of weeks he changes his privacy settings, so no one can see them anymore.
i also told him, i am wondering if he was still into his ex (although he never talks about her, unleast i am asking). he told me, that he was not into her anymore and that they are not in contact. (dont know wether to believe this or not).

cann you give me some advice? what do you think about the situation?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry, but I’m having a hard time understanding you.

You said he you thought he was being dishonest, and now you’ve confronted him and his response to being dishonest is that he has debt. 😯 ❓ ❓ ❓

What does having debts have to do with being dishonest?

[Member]

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