[Realenigma]

I met a woman at a work seminar recently (we’re both late 30’s) & we immediately hit it off. A “no brainer” it was so obvious that she liked me (& I liked her) that I asked her for a date & she accepted. We met up often to talk a few times but always during work hours In the city and things seemed To be going great with plans to spend an evening together. She said recently separated & her Ex was controlling & even physically abusive – then she went quiet & it was obvious she’d taken him back. We still met up during the day & exchanged friendly & slightly flirty emails but as usual her Husband found them & confronted her & refused to give the phone back. She has children but from a previous relationship. Why do women put up with this extremely controlling behaviour & how can I help convince her to leave, if only for her own wellbeing? I like her very much & she’s even said she very much feels the same! I’m so frustrated as it’s not often you find such a bond. We still meet during work hours to chat but she’s always on edge & on the verge of making a decision but doesn’t.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She won’t leave her husband because she’s a troubled woman. 🙁 If you know for a fact that he has physically abused her, then it’s your responsibility to report it to the police.

My advice is to stop seeing her. She’s married. She’s either so troubled she doesn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship or else she’s not telling you the truth. Either way, the “bond” you have 😕 is not a good one for you — or her.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Realenigma]

Ha! You like to be cruel to be kind don’t you?! But I kind of expected that response. She probably thinks I’ll wait around forever whilst she procrastinates. Well, I’ll tell her I’m moving on, but I’ll still be able to keep tabs on her as I now know a woman that works with her & she is a personal counselor who knows what’s going on & has offered to discretely probe her. Maybe she just needs a little shock treatment to spur her to action. We will see! Funny thing is – the woman with the problem is also a personal counselor! How ironic is that?! To be continued…..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Gosh, I wasn’t trying to be cruel — just clear. Abuse is serious, and like I said, if you have reason to believe her husband is abusing her it’s your responsibility to call the police and report this crime. Women who stay in abusive relationships don’t always have the tools to know what’s right and wrong or to do the right thing. Especially if you care about this person, help protect her, since she can’t do it herself.

And in that spirit, why on earth are you having someone “keep tabs” on a woman who is married? 😮

Look at your part in this because if you continue with her, you’re going to be an active and willing participant in a mess. 😕 The headline of this question should really be about you — not her. Let go and move on. There are lots of women who aren’t married that you can date. Find one! 😉

[Member]

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