[painfullyoblivious]

Hello April and community, I’m hoping you could help me out once more 🙂

This girl has been interning at my job for a few months now… i feel like i should state that she’s white and i’m black. originally, i didn’t think anything of her. she was nice and really friendly anytime we bumped into each other and i’d do the same, have a little office chatter but that’s about it. over time though, i began to notice little things like laughing at all my jokes, looking back when she walked away and just [i]how[/i] happy she seemed to see me. all of this made me suspect she liked me but i didn’t want to act on it… but i can’t deny, we have a great chemistry so i figured i’d prod and find out.

i [i]started[/i] to have a more personal convo before being cut off by this kid and being unable to recover 😡 the next morning though she gave me her number though, supposedly for pictures i took from the event. well this was all i needed to confirm my suspicions. so we begin texting and i ask if i can call her. she tells me she would have said yes, but she’s kinda talking to someone and would feel wrong. mind you, she’d told me plenty about her bff, but i’d never heard a single thing about this guy that’s apparently long distance… cool… but i still can’t help but text her. and i’d understand this situation completely if it was all me, but she CHOOSES to text back and even engage in what would become small conversations. she never asked me to stop or showed any signs of being offended, despite my obvious interest in her now. all of this and her continued behavior when we’re face to face were nearly impossible to know what to think. She says one thing, but her actions are something different.

This week, I sent her an unimportant text at 6pm and she didn’t reply til nearly 11pm, according to her, she’d just finished class. I decided to flirtatiously reply about how late it was and she snapped, saying she doesn’t get why I “keep thinking (she’s) playing games”. I’ve decided to completely drop any ideas dating, regardless of what she says or does from here on but for the life of me, i CANNOT understand why she would allow and even enable so much contact, at strange times at that, if she’s so unavailable. thanks for any advice/insight.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

About a year ago you wrote me with a similar situation, [url]https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=176833&p=191517#p191517[/url], and I advised you to actually ask the woman out on a date. I didn’t hear back from you, so I’m not sure if you took my advice or not…. but now this problem, today, requires the same advice. If you like her, then ask her out on a date. If she says yes, then she likes you enough to date you. If she doesn’t, then you need to move on. Don’t focus on details so much. Instead focus on the goal: Dating women who are interested and available! 😉

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[painfullyoblivious]

April, once again I appreciate your response.

I [i]did[/i] ask the girl out from the previous thread, and she said yes…. but it never materialized. I considered doing the same for the current girl, i actually really want to, but i don’t want to present myself as clingy/stalker type… after all, my advances have been turned down twice, albeit via text. I guess I’m still thinking too much 😐

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should ask her out on a date! And I agree that you shouldn’t appear clingy or needy. The irony is that the more you dance around asking her out and don’t ask her out, the more you do appear clingy or needy.

My advice is that you buy and read Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men who want to win the dating game. It will give you a lot of information, tips and advice on how to win with women without appearing clingy or needy! 😀 Here’s the link for the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url].

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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