[Lisa0708]

Hi,

I was 16 years old when I met this boy (also 16) Sam. He was in my chemistry class as well, but never noticed him. We were doing this strike against to many school hours (I live in Holland btw) we ended up talking for hours. And I really liked him. Well anyway, he ended up dating someone else, so we didn’t have contact (was heartbroken)

One and a half years later, I got caught by my father, when I was not wearing a headscarf ( I am half english, my mum is a cristian and my dad a muslim) Well after that moment my whole life changed, I ended up living with a schoollfriend and his family for one month. But I started to like this guy, we never had sex. (we did make out) And I was sick for a long time, because i had given myself half to someone who didn’t care at all. After this situation i left the schoolfriends house and went to live with a girlfriend of mine. At this time I started to get back in contact with Sam, and I hated him for choosing another girl over me. I felt like a second choice, so even though I felt so much for him, I was really nasty. But he didn’t loose his patience. We started to see each other, and I was really childish. I made everyone in my surroundings hate him, and he was trying to help me to get stable. He moved in with me 3 times. To help me, protect me, and give all the money he had to make sure I was doing fine. He supported me for one and a half years. And I could only be selfish, ignore his feelings, beat him, and make him feel like shit. I started to regret this 6 months ago. So from that moment I changed everything so badly that I had given him the impression I am not worthy of him. I always needed approval, and words to calm me down. (and he just went crazy) I was clingy, and really needed him with me. (it went from one extreme to the other). Well now after having less contact for a few weeks (and just meeting up for great sex) He had met someone else, I am feeling so sick. It’s a German girl he really can connect with. I already told him, that I needed time to be alone (one year or so) He told me he never wants to see me again in his life, he hates me. (For taking al his effort and love for granted) He said I killed all his love, and that he is moving on. And there is nothing I can’t do to bring him back. I really love this guy, and I really believe that if I had time to evaluate myself, and grow as a individual that we could make things work out.

So I was planning, to let him do whatever he wants. And I will work on myself, to be a better person, a better girlfriend, and more mature. And when I feel I’m ready I”ll contact him for a drink sometime. Or send him a letter with a photo. Or just anything!! I’m really sad I let a guy like this go. Is there anyone with some advice for me.

Thanks a lot!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve been through a lot of ups and downs in your personal life in a very short amount of time. Teenage years are hormonal years and without denigrating your feelings, please understand that you’re probably up and down and all over the place because your body is growing and trying to stabilize all at the same time.

Your idea to be single and work on yourself is a very good one. You have to also practice putting yourself in other people’s shoes — or empathizing. Not everyone does things the way you would do them, and you have to have patience and understanding for other people making mistakes and figuring things out in their own way. The same goes for you with yourself.

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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