[Pattie]

I love my boyfriend with all my heart and he says he wants to marry me, he even introduces me as his fiancée or wife, but he refuses to delete photos of his ex wife (no children together) that are on his phone in a album titled “important” and he also continues to keep a lot of women’s phone #’s in his contact list (he says they’re people who bought puppies from him when he was raising boxers, Which he no longer does). I have let him know how much this hurts me on several occasions but, he doesnt talk about it and still does nothing about it. Is there any hope for this relationship???

[greg93]

yes, there is hope but don’t confront him agressively. make it clear that you need to talk about something but don’t freak him out, let him speak his mind so you can work things out.

for the puppies all I can say is I wouldn’t delete contacts like that either because it might become handy one day.
for the wife pics, that’s a different case, I think he should get rid of them but I don’t really know how he feels about her. how long have you been together?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s romantic — to a fault. He’s calling you his fiancee and his wife — when you’re neither of those things. I’m not sure how long he was married the first time, or why they broke up, but there’s a whole range of what’s normal for exes, and if the worst thing is that he’s got her photos in his phone in an album, maybe you should let it go. If he does marry you, you’re going to be a second wife. This isn’t the same as a first wife. He’s got a history, and you have to find a way to come to terms with it. If this is the worst thing he does, then maybe letting it go will make it less important to both of you. 😉

I hope that helps.

[Member]

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