[rachelxgraham2]

me and this guy and went on our first date last night. we met online and we went out to dinner and we wanted to keep it casual so we went to applebees. conversation went well, there were some silences but they didn’t last too long, it seemed that we were both nervous and of course this was our first time meeting in person. he was cute, nice, and funny. we were talking about how my dad is a big knicks fan and he said “me and your dad will get along” and he also has so many siblings so I said “i can’t believe you have that many siblings” and he said “you’ll get used to it” like leaving little hints that there could be a future date. he paid for dinner and then asked if I wanted to do something afterward. so we decided to go to the movies. I paid for the movies because I offered to and he paid for dinner so I thought it was only fair. we were talking and laughing a lot and during the movie he put his arm around me but I didn’t put my head on his shoulder or anything and he was rubbing my arm and definitely trying to rub my boob lol. after the movie he walked me to my car and he kinda parked far away so I drove him to his car and he was kinda lingering and it got awkward because I could tell he wanted to kiss me but didn’t know how to go about it. he said something in reference to “next time” but didn’t flat out ask me to hang out again. then he went in for the kiss and we made out for a little but then I stopped it just because I didn’t want it leading to other things on the first date. I told him to text me when he got home and when he did he said “i got home..get home safe” and I said “I’m home, glad you’re home safe, I had a good time tonight, thanks again” and he said “yeah me too”

what is your opinion on this? I feel like I didn’t show enough interest, but I did let him kiss me and I told him I had a good time. maybe is he just after sex? does he seem interested in me? I know he extended the date but maybe he didn’t ask to go back to his house because he has so many siblings and thought maybe he’d get laid in the car after the movie? please tell me your honest opinions..and how many days should it take for him to contact me

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]what is your opinion on this? [/quote]

It sounds like you had a nice date and you want to go out with him again. 🙂

[quote]I feel like I didn’t show enough interest, but I did let him kiss me and I told him I had a good time. maybe is he just after sex? [/quote]

If he asks you out again, and you don’t sleep with him, and you get a third date, then no, he isn’t just out for sex.

[quote]does he seem interested in me?[/quote]

Yes.

[quote] I know he extended the date but maybe he didn’t ask to go back to his house because he has so many siblings and thought maybe he’d get laid in the car after the movie? please tell me your honest opinions..and how many days should it take for him to contact me[/quote]

I think you’re getting anxious when you don’t need to be. I know you like him, but you need to play it a little cooler. Don’t be his mother and ask him to text you when he gets home. Let him be the one to show concern for you! 😉 Guys want to be the ones to do the chasing and pursuing, so let him. Give him something to chase, and don’t turn the tables on him. If he feels like he’s won you over, he’s going to be proud of himself and he’ll feel like he’s got a prize in you! That’s the dynamic you have to keep in mind. 🙂 If he calls you in a week and asks you out again, I’d say he’s interested in another date. If he doesn’t, then he wasn’t that interested. If he calls you in two weeks, then he’s probably interested, but a busy person!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[rachelxgraham2]

did i show enough interest in him do you think? and if i don’t hear from him does that most likely mean he just wanted sex?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can’t tell if you paid enough interest in him from what you wrote. You described the date, but you didn’t really tell me if you paid him enough interest or not. It sounds like you don’t think you did.

If he doesn’t ask you out again it definitely does not mean he just wanted sex — it probably means he didn’t think you were his cup of tea, that’s all. Don’t be upset, though. Chances are most of the people you date are not going to be your cup of tea, or you, theirs. Dating is a numbers game, and you have to weed out the people who are right for you from those who aren’t. Men are going to be doing the same thing. If he really felt you weren’t right for him — for any reason — he did you a favor by not wasting your time by hanging around.

My advice is that if he doesn’t call and ask you on a date again, to move on and chalk this up to a simple incompatibility — not necessarily anything you did wrong. 😉

Hope that helps — please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]: [/url]. 😀

[rachelxgraham2]

hey! thanks for all your help but i just wanted to give you an update. i waited about 4 days after the date and i didn’t hear from him so i decided to text him because i felt that i didn’t show enough interest in him and it’s really been bothering me. so i texted him saying “heyy what’s going on?” and he said “working.” it threw me off that he was short with me but i let it go, and figured he would answer me later on. hours passed and i figured i’d just let him know how i was feeling. so i basically said “listen i enjoyed the other night, and i just didn’t want you to think i wasn’t into things. i do want to hang out again, and if you want that too then great, but if not, then please let me know so we can move on.” i know it was a little forward, but at this point either he’s interested or not, so there’s one way to find out. so he responded and this was the convo:

he said : “nah you were cool, i’d hang out again”
i said : “okay thanks”
he said : “lol”
i said : “lol whats so funny”
he said : “nothing i just didnt know what to say”
i said : “lol loser”
he said : “wow lol”
i said : “wowowow 🙂“

then 15 minutes later..

he said: “you’re right i didn’t know how you felt”
i said : “you didnt? i knew it!”
he said : “well i felt bad vibes”
i said : “like what?”
and then he never answered and i fell asleep so the next afternoon i just sent him a quick text saying “well i’m really sorry i gave off those kinds of vibes. i don’t have an explanation why but i am into it and i knew i gave the wrong impression lol. i’m happy i said something because i wanted to clear things up. think i can get another chance? lol 🙂”

and he said “yeah of course”

is this a good sign? bad sign? does he seem interested still? give me your honest opinion. thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re starting to chase him and be the aggressor, which isn’t good. You’ve let him know how you feel, now hang back and see if he asks you out or not. 😉

[rachelxgraham2]

Okay thank you but will you please tell me if he seems interested in me and if it is a good sign that he said he would hang out again and give me another chance? I will back off and let him contact me I would just like a straight up opinion if he seems interested in me or not at all. Thank you

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m absolutely giving you a straight up opinion — but I don’t have a crystal ball — and I know you don’t want to wait to see how things unfold — which is what you have to do.[b] If he asks you out on a date, he’s interested. If he doesn’t, he’s not.[/b] 😉 It sounds frustrating when you want to know what you want to know when you want to know it, but it’s really the best way to know if someone is interested in dating you. 🙂

[rachelxgraham2]

So basically I guess if he doesn’t contact me then he was just saying he’d hang out again just to be nice correct? I just got vibes from the date that he was interested but idk if I ruined it be being aggressive but then again now he knows how I feel. All I was asking was based off the date and the responses that he would hang out again and give me another chance, does he seem interested.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He could have said he’d hang out with you again because he felt cornered by you and it was just a way to get out of the conversation without his having to get into a confrontation. Or he could have said it because he was trying to be polite. Or he could have said it because he genuinely wanted to hang out with you.

[rachelxgraham2]

Do you think I ruined my chance by being too aggressive

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ll know if he asks you out or not. 😉 If he does, you didn’t. If he doesn’t, you did.

[rachelxgraham2]

okay now i know time will tell but before our date we were talking and he said “if things go well maybe we should do something afterwards” so i said “what would you wanna do” and he said “idk i havent thought of that yet, i’m in the moment” so i said “lol thats good” and he said “oh yeah do you approve?” and i said “do i approve of you living in the moment? yes, its good to live in the moment” and he said “i just hope our moment isnt short lived lol” and i said “what are you trying to say!” and he said “lol kidding i will only bring positive vibes” and i said “yeah, you need to be positive” and he said “and so do you” and i said “i am 🙂” and he said “good”

so i’m just wondering, during the date (regardless of what’s going on now and what happens in the future) does it seem like he was genuinely interested in me..or maybe was extending the date and putting his arm around me and kissing me at the end just his way of being “nice” and “positive.” i don’t know if guys would do all that if they weren’t interested, so i’m just wondering if a guy really isn’t interested in you on a first date, how would he act, what would he do, would he do those things? and why?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]so i’m just wondering, during the date (regardless of what’s going on now and what happens in the future) does it seem like he was genuinely interested in me[/quote]

I wasn’t on the date — I don’t know! 😆

[quote]….so i’m just wondering if a guy really isn’t interested in you on a first date, how would he act, what would he do, would he do those things? and why?[/quote]

He wouldn’t ask you out on another date because he isn’t interested in you.

[rachelxgraham2]

just an update! he asked me to hang out tomorrow night 🙂 this is a good sign..except for i’m so nervous!!! and i during our conversation i said “i don’t know what we could do but we’ll figure something out lol” and he said “i’m sure we will lol” do you think he’s expecting sex? i don’t know. how far should a woman go on a second date, i’m not having sex..it’s too early

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