[JianGeGe]

Hi, I’d like some advice and insight into a girl I’m currently interested in dating, and would appreciate anything you can offer. 🙂

We met a month ago at the airport because we’re both international students studying in the UK. We study in different universities, but we both had a friend who’d come to see the both of us off so that was how we were introduced to each other. We wound up exchanging numbers and while we were on different seats on the airplane, we managed to get to know each other abit while in transit. She also managed to find my seat during the longer flight so we talked abit then as well.

Anyway, we later exchanged Facebook addresses and from what I gathered she seemed like a very popular girl. I was naturally a little bit intimidated about trying to start something with her, and even now I’m questioning whether the agreements we have are because she’s naturally agreeable with anyone or if she does genuinely think we have a lot in common. Anyway, I tried texting her once and that ended up not working out, but I did call her a week later and we spent about half an hour on the phone together and she said I should later try to Facetime/webcam her when we ended the conversation.

I took her up on the offer the next week but unfortunately, I ended up doing it while she was in class. She still answered but obviously she was nervous; anyway, we agreed to try again on Sunday. I did so, but she was out at the time and she didn’t call back. I ended up becoming pretty busy with other stuff by then so we didn’t talk for about two weeks.

Then last Saturday I decided I’d give her a call again and we talked for a bit. She was out with friends at the time so she suggested that I call her the next day. I did so, and we ended up having an hour long conversation. I decided I’d be a bit more flirty with her this time round, and I’d like your insight as to whether her responses seem promising or not during some key moments.

When she told me that she’d been slacking off with her work lately, I decided to tease her abit by telling her, “You’ve been such a naughty girl. Next time I see you, I think you deserve a spanking.” She laughed a little at that but later said, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to hide for you.” After that though, I tried the spanking joke two more times with her and she laughed pretty hard during both times.

Another time, she asked me about what my course was like and I told her I had to go to the Institute of Contemporary Arts every two weeks because I was a member there and could get special discounts for events. I then decided to joke with her abit and told her I could sneak her into all the best performances in the ICA was holding, and that I’d be the Gatsby to her Daisy. She laughed and said that that shouldn’t be the comparison I should be making because that relationship ended badly.

Finally, when I had to end the conversation because I had to get back to work, we got into a small conversation about her being involved with a lot of positions when she was in high school. I told her that she was probably the power-hungry kind of person that would want to be the Prime Minister one day, and she told me that was exactly who she wanted to be when she was younger. We talked about that abit but I had to get back to work, so I told her to tell me more about it the next time we talked.

Anyway, we’re both attending an event in Nottingham on November 9th, so we agreed to meet each other there. She’s also heading to London on the day after to meet her aunt, so I told her that after she was done meeting her aunt, we should hang out and she agreed.

Anyway, I was hoping you could give me some insight into her reactions as well as advice on what I can do to increase my chances with her.

Thanks for looking through this and I’m looking forward to hearing from you 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hanging out can be a problem because if you don’t leverage it into a date, you’re going to slide into the friend zone. You have to ask her out on a real date so that she knows your intentions and she can respond with a yes or not. 😉 It sounds like she’ll say yes. But if you don’t ask, you won’t know. 😉

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[JianGeGe]

Hey, an update on the situation.

I went out on that date with her last Sunday and for the most part, I think it was a blast. That said, I feel like I should err on the side of caution and not view things too optimistically since I have made that mistake before. However, I don’t want to be too cynical about my prospects either since that won’t help me get any more objective a grasp of the situation.

Right now, I’d like to point out some positives and negatives that I’d noticed about the date, and I hope you can help me figure if I am overanalysing any one detail, whether positive or negative;

Positives:
She’s generally happy to restart a conversation if things go quiet
No real awkward silences; majority of silences feels natural
She asks a lot of questions about my family life, and in return shares a lot about her family too
Willing to hold hands and interlock fingers
Agrees with me on many topics of conversation such as importance of appreciable distance in relationships, how children should be raised, what kind of cities we’d like to live in etc.
Laughs at my jokes, even the intentionally stupid ones
Suggests idea for next date

Negatives:
Initially was very reluctant to go into ‘risky’ situations
Did not seem as eager to talk about her ambitions
Never initiated hand holding
Did not let me pay for dinner
She turned away pretty quickly at the end of our date

Thanks for looking through this and I hope to hear from you soon. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes, you are overanalyzing. Just ask her out on a second date! 😀

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[JianGeGe]

Already did and we’re going out sometime around Christmas, although I’m going to ask her if she wants to meet up sometime before that.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Perfect! 😉

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