[April Masini, your AskApril]

No — you should hold off, and wait. You’ve already contacted him and let him know you’re single. He’s responded that he’s out of town but would like to take you out when he returns. The ball is in his court. If you text him again it may appear needy, and I know you don’t want that! 😉 Stay busy, play the field since you’re newly single, and don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I hope that helps! 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Rarely do couples agree on everything, so if you want to stay together you both have to decide where you will compromise and where you will not. If you can find places where you are willing to be generous and let your partner “win” and if your partner finds places where they are willing to give in and let you “win”, then the relationship will last. But, if you both dig in and refuse to compromise at all, the differences of opinion will become deal breakers.

I hope that helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry that she’s going through this, and that her grief is taking this form, but sometimes people have to work things out in their own way and that’s what you have to allow her to do. It sounds like she’s not in a good place, and since the relationship you have with her is so new, I think you should back off and give her space. If you’d been dating for a year or more, it might be different, but since you’ve only been dating for six months, and five of those six months included her focusing on her uncle who was dying at the time, and has since passed, the relationship has had some unfortunate timing. It’s not anyone’s fault, but to ignore it is to create frustration for both of you. Since she has suffered an important loss in her life, she has to find a way to grieve without projecting the anger she may feel about the loss, onto you. She’s pushing you away, and when you try to stay in her life, she lashes out. I think you need to step back. If she misses you, she’ll reach out — or you can even stay away for a few weeks and then test the waters by reaching out, gently, at that time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]If you re-read these three pages of your questions and my advice to you, it doesn’t seem like you really want to take my advice. 😕 I suggested you ask her out, in person, and if she doesn’t go on a date with you, then move on. Instead, you’ve invested a lot of time and energy in someone who’s not interested in the same thing you are. It’s time for you to move on and focus your energy elsewhere. 😉[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The relationship is new, and he doesn’t feel as committed to it as you do. That’s the bottom line. But he’s not breaking up with you. So, rather than question his choices or criticize them, focus on what’s good between you. Send him gifts. Visit him. Write letters — and don’t dwell on problems, instead, dwell on his getting better and your part in that process. When things like this happen in life — whether they’re illnesses, accidents, job set backs — they are opportunities to explore a different part of the relationship and find out who you both function when the chips are down, not just when things are rosy. I think you’re justified in feeling disappointed, but I’d hate to see you focus on that when there’s still good between you. Shift focus and spend your energy on positive output. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think he feels rejected. You had sex with him — then told him to sleep on the couch. 😕 He probably decided you were not interested in him, so he’s acting out because he’s upset.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. I don’t think you should make a move and give him your number, without his asking for it. Instead, I think you can flirt back with him, if you want to — but this isn’t more than him flirting with you. So far. 😉 If he wants your phone number, he’ll ask for it, and if he wants to date you, he’ll ask you out.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think I answered both your new questions with this advice: [quote] It sounds like he’s angry about some things that may have nothing to do with you, and he’s acting out. So it will seem that he’s angry that you went away for the weekend without telling him or finding time to text him hello — but it’s not really what he’s truly angry about, underneath it all. It may be that he’s afraid of losing you so if he gets angry and provokes a fight, you’ll leave him and he can be right in his fear that you were going to all along. Or he may feel burned by some other relationship where the woman abandoned him and when he feels that you’re doing the same thing (even though you’re not), he’ll have a reaction to the original pain and you’ll have no clue that it’s not about you; you’re just the trigger.

Your questions are good ones, and my advice is to not engage in his provocation, but instead, take the high road. When he tells you that he’s going to be the bigger person and say hello, thank him — instead of getting defensive. Tell him that’s what you love about him. If he tells you that you didn’t do something — instead of arguing to be right, let it go and change the direction of the conversation by telling him you would never want to him and ask what you can do to make it up to him.[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How long were you and this guy dating before you broke up with him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

In general, guys want women they feel are prizes. They like to chase, conquer and win them over! 😀 They want to show them off and feel that they really got the first place winner in a woman. So, letting the guy chase you — and giving him something to chase — is a great way to start a relationship off on the right foot. 😉 When men feel that they’ve got someone they can trust, respect and value, they’ll open up and want intimacy — beyond sex. Knowing this, you can work backwards and become the woman who gets the guy. I hope that helps. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why not try and start a conversation and get to know each other? Since you’ve never really talked to each other, that’s the first step. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If she’s telling you she’s hurt by your not showing love or affection, why not try doing that. 😉 It sounds like she needs some extra attention after the loss of her uncle with whom she was very close. I think that since she’s telling you that this is what she’s upset about not getting, she’s giving you a giant hint. Take it! 🙂

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