[Anonymous]

Actually I don’t think chatting is a big crime, I have not hide it from him for I am not doing something wrong. Yet I never knew about his plan of being with one woman in Thailand. So now I am being blamed for something not at all my fault, yes I have my share of it but he have his share too.

[Anonymous]

Many thanks for posting this, It?s simply what I used to be researching for on bing. I?d lots relatively hear opinions from a person, barely than a company web page, that?s why I like blogs so significantly. Many thanks!

[Anonymous]

thank you for your advice!
vegas was chosen because shes originally from up north and that was the best spot for all her friends to fly into.
indeed it must be some sort of projection as i definitely hadnt been squeeky clean in the past in that regards (dancing-wise)…

she never has given me any reasons to doubt her… i did finally ask her about it and she assured me that nothing questionable went on (no dirty dancing, grinding, etc) . i was afraid she’d be offended that i would even ask but she actually thought it was “adorable” that i was so jealous about it which is a relief cause i hated feeling so insecure about the whole thing.
thanks so much for the advice! i’ll be following you on twitter and such

[Anonymous]

Thanks ur soo right that not what he wants right now…and I’m just more of a relationship type..so I’m taking it should be honest with him and move on. Ill. Let you know how it goes.

[Anonymous]

got a contact from him and of course i was pleasantly surprised. Seems like we’ll be going out sometime this week.

Out of curiosity, why are you opposed to women taking a stand and going after what they like/want? Every guy I’ve treated/paid for have been very grateful. I suspect it’s not a gesture they’re used to.

[Anonymous]

Thanks! We’ve definitely communicated a lot throughout this process. I guess my problem is just trying to move on but I believe I can with time. Thanks again 🙂

[Anonymous]

By moving on you are no hurting your friendship. The best thing to do is to talk to him. The key thing in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. But before you do so, think about what you want to say. You will feel much better afterwards, believe me, i’ve been in the same situation. It isn’t easy but the best thing to do is to confront it head on. Good luck! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Wait a second, me bad mouth her? I was almost to the point of moving on and it turns out she was bad mouthing ME the entire time, for the entire time I knew her.. I know we aren’t a compatible match now and I don’t want to be back with her now, but hell, at least get the story straight. I never said anything “bad” about her on here or anywhere else and I challenge you to prove that. It’s a waste of time anyways, I wasted all this time on her and I can never get it back. I don’t know why I even cared to reply to this..

[Anonymous]

Thanks for replying April, I read what you had to say initially, and you were right, we didn’t really mesh all that well in terms of our lives, but I had to take my shot. I had waited a decade for that moment and I had to take it. I was beginning to accept that we broke up and it was over, that we were still friends and life would move on.

So why am I back?

Well, as I was trying to cope with the loss of my ex girlfriend/best friend/my first (yeah, she was all three of these things), I check her Facebook profile and she already had a new boyfriend, with the posted anniversary of the day after we broke up. Ironically, Friday the 13th. Two days before we broke up, she didn’t talk to me and the couple brief conversations that we have and I told her I loved her, she didn’t say anything back. I can only really assume the worst had really happened. It wasn’t the job that bothered her (like I said, it didn’t the three weeks prior when we got together), it was that she met someone else. I was kind of upset with this, as I think most people would. She either broke up with me to get with the new guy, or got together with him after we just broke up and declared him the greatest thing since sliced bread. Another couple days past and I was thinking to myself that.. well, if she’s happy, I’m happy. Obviously I didn’t do enough to keep her and she’s happy with this new guy. Not the best feeling in the world, but we only dated three weeks (even though I spent my adult life trying to date her), and she was my friend, so I had to let it slide.

Then.. then I get a message from an old friend of hers and mine. It turns out that my ex-girlfriend fairly bluntly used to make fun of me, call me names and make smart remarks behind my back about my appearance and things about me, back then and now. My friend also said that my ex never liked me, for my looks, not for anything like that. In fact, she just didn’t really like me. She said my ex goes around and gets with guys who get her stuff and make her happy for a while, then goes on and meets someone else. My only head-scratching moment there was that if she knew I wasn’t going to get her many things, why did she bother going out with me in the first place? Kind of had an epiphany about it all. A lot of what she talked about when we first started having feelings for each other, was that I was in college, I was “doing something with myself” that I was “on the right path” and that her and me both doing good. I guess all that meant for me was that I might have some money. Ahh, I guess that’s why she wanted me to get more money with a job, right? Right..

Well, I’m really at a loss now.. so not only was she not acting like my friend, by talking behind my back and putting me down intentionally, but she ended up only going out for me because I may or may not have money. And when I spent what I had on her and myself when we went out, she left and found someone else new, either a couple days before we broke up or the day after. No girlfriend, no friend, no anything now.

So there’s my sad story.

[Anonymous]

It feels like shes already made the decision without being up front about it. You refer to her as a “female” youre in a relationship with, not your girlfriend. She’s pregnant after 7 months into the relationship, so it doesn’t seem like there was much substance there beforehand. It sounds like it has always been a friendship from the very start. Now she’s in a situation where she has to deal with whats in front of her, and not do what most other 20 year olds do (move onto the next relationship) You have to question WHY she decided to get into a relationship with you after five years. As a 22 year old female, I question any female that decides to get into this kind of relationship. Was she looking for someone to cling to after a relationship and you took it as something more meaningful?

You should take into account that shes pregnant and her emotions/hormones are everywhere. More often than not, women are going to want to keep the father of their child around…not push them away. I think you should make your feelings clear and allow her to do what she wishes. As a father, you should also remember that it’s your child no matter what. If it doesn’t work out in the end, don’t allow her to keep you from seeing the child. My gut is telling me that she’ll want you back when she gets closer to her due date…though I can’t say that it will be something long term.

Good luck. I think age is really a factor in this case, especially since she is acting her age. It’s the pregnancy that doesn’t make this cut and dry.

[Anonymous]

Hi April…
soo I am having some problems with my boyfriend/ babies dad and I really dont know what to do at this point. I am 20 years old and he is 21 and we’ve been together on and off for almost 5 years.. we also have a 3 year old son together. so in the past he was unfaithful and cheated and was just kind of “mean” to me I guess and I lied to him a few times about things because of how he used to react (anger problems). which caused some trust issues but we got over them and moved on. up until recently everything was fine and now we are fighting all the time about really small and stupid things and this past friday I came clean to him about a drug problem I was having. he obviously got very upset and now doesnt trust me at all and doesnt know if he still wants to be with me or not. but see, I am so used to the way he used to react to things that I sometimes get scared of telling him stuff and just lie to him to avoid a huge freak out and him yelling and screaming at me. i love him soo much and do not want to lose him over this, but at the same time I cant blame him for not wanting to stay with me. i am very confused about what I should do to gain his trust back 😕 any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

[Anonymous]

I think that is good advice, and what I think I need to do is take all of the time and effort that I invested into her and place it into my graduate program and see if someone else is out there who is more compatible. However, what I dont get is how she can feel so bad about what happened to her before years later… is that normal? How long does it take someone to get over something like that?

[Anonymous]

I can totally understand being self conscious, especially during sex. But I think that there’s probably a good chance that your boyfriend doesn’t even notice the flaws that you notice about yourself. Don’t feel self conscious about being on top. It’s actually a pretty flattering angle and “fat jiggling” shouldn’t be much of an issue unless you’re moving around like crazy. Start off slow and if you’re moving in a way that makes you feel self conscious, then try moving a different way (unless he really, really likes it of course!). Maybe keeping the lights out or having only very dim light will make you feel a little less self conscious? You’ll get more comfortable after a while, don’t worry. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

[Anonymous]

The question i see is you have to ask yourself…’What do you want”????. I dont know your past relationship either to know what happened or why you two broke up in the first place or anything like that so i cant really comment in anyway, but my personal opinion is there is no harm in having a little chat with him and seeing what he was wanting.. Thats only if you want to go back there weather its to hard emotional for you and what eva happened between you to, but i dont see why you can msg him or call him back because it could be for any reason, but you wont know that until you speak with him…How ever you are feeling just please think about yourself first and making sure you know what you want before considering someone else, 🙂 x

[Anonymous]

wow that is very confusing and i cannot imagine how it must feel to be put in that position. The only advice i can give in regards to him is be honest….Have you weighed the pros and cons of how you feel for this man, is it real feelings or is it a comfort thing. I dont know how you to are with each other or what you two do together so i cant really judge you on that but what you have said, and the way it sounds is you are a shoulder for him to cry on. You are caring and being a true friend for him in a time where he needed someone. Is he still in love with his ex? Is he still missing her? does he still talk about her or want to get back with her or antyhing like that??. If things are getting a little more intimate then, instead of going in for the big kiss because it can either go good where he does kiss you back or he could push you away and well it will feel completely embarrasing, Maybe be honest and open with him and tell him how you are feeling for him and weather he is feeling the same way. Just try communicating with him and just ask him where do you stand because if its not what he wants well then you will have to have space apart because the longer it goes on for it will be harder for you to let go. And if he is feeling the same way for you then you both are letting each other know where you both stand in each others life, and well then thats a start… It all comes down to communicating and just being straight up and honest… Im not an expert neither am i here to tell you what i think is right, but i hope ive given you my personal opinion and advice and the option of seeing both sides and obviously the decision comes down to you. I can say though that something does need to be done or said to him but how you approach the situation only you can do.. No one knows him well enough like you do… Best of luck huni, go with what you think is right 🙂 x

[Member]

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