[Anonymous]

Dude, learn how to spell and talk properly. That would help beyond any other advice given here.

[Anonymous]

i just wanted to know if i was in the wrong for receiving phone calls from other women

[Anonymous]

I knw april she has responsibility towards her family . Ya i dnt have girl friend ,im 22 so not married . Its nt nw that i felt it i always love her from my child hood may be when i was 4 . I just want to knw cant she see the efforts that i do for her and if she doesnt love me cant she get changed by the efforts f mine that i put till nw . She despite f knwing as i use to told her my liking never did any thng that cloud please me . Just tell me one thing dont the other person need to show responses when they sees others emotions towards u . Many times despite knwing that i like to do somethng she just neglected my feelings and did what she wants to do . Im ready to get away from the relation but it is nw as easy . Especially when when my brother in law is so much carring .

[Anonymous]

THANK YOU JUST MY OPINION

i like ur opinion, in fact time has taught me this lesson-self confidence

bt there exists a slight problm,,,n i m tryin 2 find a way out.

i try to speak confidently lik a man of confidence,bt due to hearin loss-some speech impedimnent is there-that means,,wen i give a question or a reply, i mostly get an answer frm (girl) that she didnt understood wat im tellin or tryin 2 tell, then i ll raise my voice n complete d “speech”, bt whole mood gets disturbed….
wen i did nt hear it i ask again, aftr 2 or 3 times the othr person gets disturbd, as if she is talking to a hell boy somtimes only,,,
somtimes i mask with som new sentences so that they don feel repetition.still u ll lose a bit f self confidence wen i m sure i speak loudeer and other person complains that its not clear n finaally askin up to be loudest!!! 🙂
still As you hav told i hav 2 find more of my assets rathr than wasting time on these defects….to boost self confidence in my mind

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the wonderful advice. To answer your question about how long I’ve known him, not that long. And you are right about everything you said. I knew it, which is why I was continuing to question our relationship; even though we had made up. I guess I wanted to be in denial, because I didn’t want to have to get back out there in the dating pool, again. However, I would rather be a little lonely and alone; than unhappy and attached. Thanks, again.

[Anonymous]

Well I was 22 when he proposed and I was not ready mentally or financially for marraigeor to live with anyone although now I have graduated from college and have a good job I feel like I can grow with him. Hes older so was always more ready for a stable relationship. Do you think I should no longer contact him? I would have liked for him to atleast give me some closure before leaving[list=][/list]

[Anonymous]

I think it depends how you want to personally define “using you for sex”. If you define it as having sex with you without having any feelings for you, then no, he’s not using you for sex because he does appear to have feelings for you, he just doesn’t want any kind of further relationship with you. If you define it as having sex with you without any desire for a further relationship, then he’s definitely using you for sex.

Either way, whatever you want to define it as isn’t really the important thing. You’re looking for a relationship, and he’s not, which means you two aren’t compatible as far as a relationship goes.

[Anonymous]

From reading your post, I don’t think your partial hearing loss is at all part of the problem.

It sounds like you first off have very little self confidence (which is an instant turn-off to women), and secondly are coming on WAY too strong/fast when you finally do start talking to a woman.

Let’s take your “first love”. You stared at her for a YEAR at the bus stop, without ever talking to her. When you finally did speak to her, it sounds like she just made polite conversation with you, not that she was interested in you at all. To her, you were probably “that creepy guy who always stares at me”. As for the rest of the story with her, your behavior was pretty stalker-like, and from her behavior it doesn’t seem as if she felt any kind of connection to you, especially since she doesn’t even know your name. I don’t know what you mean when you say you ended it, because it doesn’t sound like you two had any kind of relationship to end.

As for the second girl, how long did you wait to talk to her? An insanely long time too, I’m guessing. And when you finally did, I’m guessing it was just friendly, not flirty, and nothing that should have lead you to believe she was interested at all. You pushed it way too far, and got branded “creepy stalker guy”, which is why she deleted you from facebook, and completely ignored you in your future encounters.

Here are some suggestions, in order…
1) Accept yourself. Accept that you’re short, and that you have a hearing problem. So what? It’s who you are, and I’m sure you can find a girl that won’t mind. The key here is not to call attention to these things in a way that makes you seem completely insecure and not confident.
2) Figure out how to read a girl’s body language.
3) When you like a girl, don’t wait forever to talk to her. Go talk to her (first introduce yourself), make small talk. If she seems receptive (see #2) flirt with her a bit. If it’s going well, ask for her phone number (which you will use to ask her out on a date).
4) Assuming she says yes to the date, due to your hearing problem, take her somewhere quiet where you’ll be able to hear her better, and thus is conducive to a good conversation. If at any point you can’t hear her, briefly and causally explain your hearing problem, and ask her if she could speak up.
5) If the date goes well, sometime *after* it’s over, ask her out again. Repeat.
6) At no point in any of these steps should you stalk her, get extremely romantic too soon, talk about her having your babies, how you want to marry her, or any other things that are similarly inappropriate. After enough time, some of these things stop being taboo subjects (i.e. you wanting to marry her), but there’s no reason to bring them up when you’ve just started dating a girl.

Rejection is going to happen, but keep in mind dating is entirely a numbers game. If you get rejected, it’s really a favor to you, since you’re one step closer to finding someone who won’t reject you, and you won’t be wasting time wondering if the girl you just stared at but never talked to is the right girl for you.

Basically, my entire post can be summed up as, be confident/accept yourself, don’t be a stalker, don’t take things too fast, and actually talk to and ask out women that you like.

[Anonymous]

Dear April,

My gf has been mean, whiney, controlling, & etc. lately. I don’t understand it. I waited all day for her to get home from summer school, but instead she went swimming in her backyard all day. She tells me I’m her life & everything & loves me…but idk why she gets mad so much. We’ll be talking & she’ll start stuff & say “whatever…bye”. It’s been everyday she wants to fight/argue. What do I do to make her want to talk to me and be a just somewhat clingy?

[Anonymous]

Dear April,

My gf has been mean, whiney, controlling, & etc. lately. I don’t understand it. I waited all day for her to get home from summer school, but instead she went swimming in her backyard all day. She tells me I’m her life & everything & loves me…but idk why she gets mad so much. We’ll be talking & she’ll start stuff & say “whatever…bye”. It’s been everyday she wants to fight/argue. What do I do to make her want to talk to me and be a just somewhat clingy?

[Anonymous]

Drawing love hearts on your hand and wrists? Hugging you from behind, leaning her head on your shoulder, brushing your arm or butt 😈 when walking past? What kind of workplace is that? 😕

Yes, she likes you. Could it be any clearer? And anyway, what do you have to lose? If you like her, ask her out on a date. A real one. You know, call her at night mid-week and ask if she wants to have dinner with you that Saturday. Treat it like a date. See what happens!

[Anonymous]

A few [i][b]months![/b][/i] [b][i] 😯 Way[/i][/b] too soon! You two hardly know each other. And you[i] [b]would [/b][/i]be “giving your power away” (so to speak) if you live with him at this juncture. 🙁 What’s your rush? 😕

Your gut instincts are good (“cohabitating is not in my interest”)and you know what will work for you (you would live together but “want to move on towards marriage”) so why not take your time and get to know him better? 😀 If you must respond to this premature request, you can nicely let him know you consider living together the last step before marriage and that you are not ready to do either one right now while you two are still getting to know each other.

Hope that helps. Mostly, just listen to your gut instincts. And that “been there, done that” voice. 🙄

[Anonymous]

If this guy (Guy #2) is interested in you, he will let you know in one way or another. You won’t have to do a thing. If he isn’t interested, he will do nothing. Why not enjoy finding out for sure? In order words, DO NOT contact him — let HIM make the first move (or not). Then you can enjoy knowing that he really wants to be in touch with you. Otherwise, you are handing it to him on a platter and not being special. Let him work for it. 😉 If he doesn’t, then you haven’t overextended or overinvested yourself. Please don’t fool yourself that you have to let him know or this golden chance will pass you by. You two have lived in the same town for the past (at least) 17 years. He knew where you were all this time. No matter how artificial the reason for his call, he’s no longer with someone, and he’s fishing. Don’t try to figure out his motive. You never will. Let him fish. Be cool as a cucumber. 😆

By the way, clean things up and move out from Guy #1. Not intimate for 7 years? 🙄
That way if a good guy comes along, you’re actually available. 😀

p.s. I don’t think your intuition “stinks” — I think you know in your heart what to do but you don’t really want to listen to it.

[Anonymous]

I understand that it should have not taken this long but, well it did work quite well with us then. Just that the outcome is something we both did not expect. Yeah I guess all I can do now is accept and move on, valuable lessons learned here. Thank I will check the book! 😉

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone,

Thought I should say hi, because Ive been reading the forum for a short while now and given that I am starting to have some questions I want to post, I thought it the polite thing to do.

Ive never been a big guy fat or muscle wise, but I have lost too much weight over the last 5 years sitting at my laptop in the office so Ive decided that enough is enough – Im going to stop the slide, and hopefully put on some weight in the right way.

I will be at the gym 4 times a week, and I ride my bike to and from work most days when its not raining only about 25 mins each way.

I have no idea what is a reasonable/achievable goal, but Im starting with putting on 5kgs.

So anyway, heres my first of many questions…

Whats this 5×5 that people keep talking about and where can I find out more info on it?

Thanks

[Member]

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