[Serena Vale]

You’re not crazy, and you’re not overreacting. What hurts isn’t the trip, it’s the pattern. He knew this would hurt you, you explained why, and he still chose it. That’s where the disappointment lives.

Long distance only works when both people protect the relationship. Right now, he’s choosing his freedom over your feelings, and that’s something you have to really sit with.

You can’t force him to prioritize you, you can only decide what you can live with.

Ask April this: If this keeps repeating, am I willing to keep feeling second?
Because love isn’t just about history or magie, it’s about consideration.

You’re allowed to want more.

[Serena Vale]

You’re not crazy, and you’re not overreacting. What hurts isn’t the trip, it’s the pattern.

He knew this would hurt you, you explained why, and he still chose it. That’s where the disappointment lives.

Long distance only works when both people protect the relationship. Right now, he’s choosing his freedom over your feelings, and that’s something you have to really sit with.

You can’t force him to prioritize you, you can only decide what you can live with.

Ask April this: If this keeps repeating, am I willing to keep feeling second?
Because love isn’t just about history or magic, it’s about consideration.

You’re allowed to want more.

[Serena Vale]

Yes, he does like you, but he’s emotionally messy right now. New Year’s triggered old feelings for another girl, alcohol lowered his filter, and instead of handling it maturely, he pulled back and went quiet. That hot-and-cold behavior isn’t about you chasing, it’s about him being unsure.

The best thing you can do?
Stop leaning in. Stay friendly, relaxed, and live your life like you’re not waiting on him. If he likes you, he’ll step forward when he feels safe again. If he doesn’t, you’ll save yourself from wasting energy.

And ask April this:
“How long should I give someone space before I decide their silence is my answer?”

Sometimes attraction grows in calm, not in chasing.

[Serena Vale]

Stephen, I’m going to be very real with you.

This situation is messy, unstable, and unsafe for your heart.

You’re not confused because you love her, you’re confused because her actions don’t match her words.

She’s been inconsistent, secretive, and unreliable from the start. Pregnancy, exes, moving states with no plan, overlapping partners , none of this creates a foundation for trust or partnership.

Right now, you’re operating from guilt and hope, not clarity. And that’s dangerous. Love alone doesn’t make someone honest, stable, or ready to build a life. It just makes us stay longer than we should.

Before you move, pay, or promise anything, you need facts. That means paternity confirmation, distance, and boundaries. Support does not mean sacrificing yourself blindly.

You’re not a bad person for loving her. But loving someone does not mean accepting chaos.

[Serena Vale]

Charlie, I’m going to say this gently and honestly, because that’s what you need right now.

You didn’t do anything bad. But you did do too much, too fast. Too many messages, too much intensity, not enough space. That can feel overwhelming, even when the connection is real.

Four dates don’t equal a relationship yet. And when someone says they don’t want to continue, the most attractive, respectful thing you can do is stop reaching out and let it be. That’s not giving up, that’s dignity.

If there’s ever a chance again, it will only come from distance and calm, not more words.

Ask April was right, online dating is competitive, timing matters, and feelings don’t always sync. This doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. It means this one wasn’t aligned.

Take a breath. Take the lesson. Keep your heart, just slow it down next time.

[Serena Vale]

Here’s the truth: this isn’t really about his parents. He’s 25 and lives on his own. If he keeps cancelling on you, that’s his choice. When a man wants to see you, he finds a way, chores don’t magically stop that.

You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for basic respect and consistency. And right now, he’s showing you where you fit on his priority list.

You don’t need to argue or criticize his family. Just say, calmly, that cancelled plans make you feel unimportant, and then watch what he does, not what he says.

And if you’re unsure, honestly… ask April. She’ll tell you the same thing: don’t wait around for someone who keeps choosing other things over you.

You deserve an adult relationship, not one you have to beg into existence.

[Serena Vale]

You love him, and that part is real.

But love alone doesn’t build a peaceful life. Right now, you’re not doubting his heart, you’re doubting his stability, his temper, and whether he can meet you where life is going. Those doubts don’t disappear with time or luck.

He’s 28. Effort without results matters. Trying is good, but consistency and growth matter more when marriage, family, and pressure come into play. His short temper is also not a “small thing”, stress usually makes it louder, not softer.

You don’t need to leave today. But you do need clarity. Ask April’s question to yourself honestly: What are my deal breakers? If financial instability and temper are on that list, love won’t cancel them out later.

Wanting it to work doesn’t make it work. Reality does. Be kind to your heart, but be loyal to your future too.

[Serena Vale]

She’s confused, hurt, and keeping you in a gray zone because it feels safe for her, not because it’s fair to you. The drinking incident didn’t help, but it’s also become a convenient reason to stall instead of choosing.

You can’t rebuild trust by talking, explaining, or waiting around as a “friend.” Trust comes from consistent behavior over time, and that only works if she actually wants to move toward you. Right now, she doesn’t know what she wants, and that means you’re stuck.

So here’s what you do:

Stop chasing reassurance.

Be calm, respectful, and steady, but don’t put your life on hold.
No emotional boyfriend behavior without an actual relationship.
If she wants more later, she’ll step forward. If not, you’ll already be moving on.
Waiting passively isn’t strength. Having boundaries is.
And no, being “nice now so it helps later” usually just delays your healing.

If you want more clarity, Ask April, but from where I’m standing, the healthiest move is to step back and let her feel the space she asked for.

Sometimes love isn’t about proving you’re different.
It’s about choosing yourself when someone can’t choose you.

[Serena Vale]

You had one amazing date. That doesn’t make you crazy, it makes you human. Chemistry can hit hard, especially when you weren’t looking for it. But chemistry is just the spark, not the proof.

Right now, this is potential, not reality. He lives in another country, you’ve had one date, and everything else is conversation and imagination filling in the gaps. That’s where excitement turns into anxiety.

So here’s what you do:
Enjoy the crush, but don’t build a future in your head yet. Keep your life full like you’re already doing. Let him show up consistently, not just with words, but with actions. If he comes back and follows through, great. If not, you haven’t lost yourself in the process.

Strong women don’t shut feelings down, they pace them.

And remember: the right man won’t leave you guessing for months.

— Ask April

[Serena Vale]

This isn’t about mixed signals. It’s about missed encouragement.

He likes you, but he’s cautious and a bit insecure. When you didn’t give your number before, when he canceled plans, when you said no to the movie, to him, those felt like quiet rejections. So he pulls back to protect himself.

Men usually don’t keep chasing when they’re unsure they’re wanted.

If you want this to move forward, you have to be warmer and clearer. Flirt a little. If he asks you out again, say yes, even if it’s not the perfect plan. Let him feel welcomed, not tested.

If you don’t want to keep doing that, then step back and accept that this will stay inconsistent.

You’re not wrong for feeling hurt, but he won’t guess your interest. You have to show it.

[Serena Vale]

She likes the attention, but she doesn’t know what she wants.
Her actions are hot-and-cold, and that usually means confusion, not commitment.

If a girl likes you and is ready, she won’t keep disappearing.
Interest looks consistent.

You don’t need to chase or overthink this. Ask her out one more time clearly.
If she dodges, ignores, or stays vague again, take that as your answer and step back.

Don’t sit around waiting for someone who isn’t meeting you halfway.
Keep your options open and focus on girls who are clear, present, and excited to see you.

[Serena Vale]

You don’t need a big plan or a timeline right now. What you need is clarity and calm.

When you meet him, say something simple like:
“I know what I want. I want a healthy, stable future with you. I’m ready for the next step when you are, and I trust you to lead that.”

That shows commitment without pressure.

You’ve already shown him you’re serious through your actions, your consistency, and the changes you’ve made. You don’t need to prove anything more. If he wants marriage, he’ll move it forward. If he doesn’t, no amount of planning on your end will change that.

Stay grounded. Stay open. Let him show you where he stands.

[Serena Vale]

You did the right thing. Truly.

He showed you, very clearly, that you were an option, not a priority. When someone says, “I’ll decide based on how it goes with someone else,” that’s your cue to walk away, and you did. That took strength.

Feeling lost in a foreign place is normal. Breakups hit harder when you’re alone and far from home. Nothing is wrong with you.

To get stronger mentally:
Keep your body moving, walk, stretch, dance, breathe.
Create small daily routines so your days feel grounded.
Limit romantic thinking, no replaying old stories.
Focus on becoming proud of yourself, not distracted.
Remind yourself: peace is better than mixed signals.

You’re not behind. You’re not unlovable.
You’re just in a quiet rebuilding phase.

And those always pass.

[Serena Vale]

You’re not being petty. At all.
This isn’t “annoying habits.” This is disrespect, boundary-crossing, and control.

A man who loves you doesn’t embarrass you in public, touch you when you say no, flirt with other women, talk over you, or twist things so he’s never wrong. That’s not confidence. That’s insecurity dressed up loud.

You can say, calmly:
“When you do that, it makes me feel disrespected. I need it to stop.”

But here’s the truth — you’ve already been saying no with your body, your tone, your reactions. He ignores it. That tells you everything.

At 25, this isn’t immaturity. This is who he is.
And you’re 20 — you’re not here to train someone how to treat you.

A healthy relationship feels safe, calm, and respectful.
This one feels draining, embarrassing, and confusing.

Love shouldn’t make you smaller.
Choose yourself.

more short

Alright — short, simple, Serena Vale style 💬

You’re not being petty. This isn’t about “annoying habits.” This is about respect.

He embarrasses you, ignores your boundaries, flirts with others, and doesn’t listen when you say stop. That’s not love. That’s someone who does what he wants and expects you to tolerate it.

You can say, calmly:
“When you do this, it makes me feel disrespected. I need it to stop.”

Then watch what he does — not what he says.
If he gets defensive, laughs it off, or keeps doing it, that’s your answer.

You shouldn’t have to teach a grown man how to treat you kindly.
The right person won’t make you feel small, confused, or uncomfortable.

Sometimes the bravest choice is walking away.

[Serena Vale]

I get why this feels discouraging, but don’t let the noise fool you. Good men aren’t disappearing, they’re just not all loud or online talking about it.

Some men chase “foreign” fantasies because it feels easier or different. That has nothing to do with your worth as an American woman. The right man won’t need you to be exotic, he’ll value your mind, your values, and how you show up in life.

Focus less on what men say they want online and more on being fully you. The men who appreciate American women are here, they’re just looking for someone who knows who she is and isn’t trying to compete with anyone else.

You don’t need to change where you’re from. You just need to choose someone who actually sees you.

[Member]

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