[Frank]

It’s not healthy anymore to keep pushing this relationship. Your boyfriend is being very paranoid even though you haven’t done anything wrong and you’re just spending time with your family.
On top of that, he is looking for what he feels you are lacking in another girl. It might be better to move on, you will still meet a lot of other people, especially someone who is closer to you so there won’t be distance issues or conflict.
To be honest, long-distance relationships are really hard to make work. Very few of them actually succeed.

[Frank]

It might actually be easier for you to make your move if you’re living close to her, especially if your priority is getting back together. But if that’s not the case, it might be better not to accept the offer so that both of you can also set proper boundaries. That’s just my opinion.

[Frank]

There are really instances like this where the problem isn’t you or the relationship, but the situation itself. There are things that, even if you want them badly, you just can’t force.

There are also times when you have to choose, career or love. You need to accept the reality that this might not be the right time for both of you. You should move on and not rely on something that isn’t certain right now, because you might just end up wasting your time.

You also need to stay open to other possibilities, because you can’t keep waiting for something that may or may not come.

[Frank]

Just let it go and don’t pay attention to her. She will eventually get tired of it, especially if she becomes too creepy to the point where she could harm someone or do something serious, then you should already consider getting a restraining order.
What matters most is that your boyfriend is okay and that it is clear to him that their relationship is already over.

[Frank]

First of all, you need to change your controlling behavior, that’s not healthy in a relationship.
Second, don’t focus on marriage right now, especially since you’re not financially stable yet and you’re still dealing with issues in your relationship. It’s important to be financially stable and have your problems sorted out first before making a decision like marriage, so you don’t end up regretting it in the end.

[Frank]

Your boyfriend is actually kind of admirable because he’s being honest. The fact that he’s telling you the truth and still wants you to come with him shows that he doesn’t want to make a mistake and doesn’t want to ruin your relationship.
And I get you—it’s not always necessary for you to be with him all the time. He also needs to learn how to say no to temptation. Trust is very important in a relationship.

[Frank]

Well, you don’t really have a choice because that’s what she wants. The question is, are you willing to lose her? It seems like the answer is no.
So my advice is just continue the connection with her for now. And she’s right, if the situation comes up, you can also date other people. It’s clear that she doesn’t want commitment yet, so you don’t really have any option but to respect what she wants.
Or maybe, if you eventually move on from her and stop the flirting or casual setup, she might miss you and realize how important you are to her. And maybe then she would agree to the kind of commitment you want.

[Frank]

First of all, what is more important to you?
Because it really seems like this is not something your girlfriend will compromise on through negotiation. You do have a choice here, the real question is: am I the one who is more important to you?

[Frank]

The damage has already been done, you can’t take it back anymore. Everything you did was your choice. If you truly loved this girl, you shouldn’t have done that in the first place.
But I can’t completely blame you either, because it seems like you were in a stage where you wanted to explore other things, and only realized how important she was when she was already gone. Even if you regret it now, you can’t undo what happened.
All you can do now is keep talking to her, try to win her back slowly, and hope that she eventually forgives you, if she even can.
Just treat it as a lesson learned and move forward from it.

[Frank]

So it looks like you already gave your friend the impression that you were okay with what happened. Since you’re not even sure about your feelings anyway, it might be best to just let it go for now, you’ll still meet plenty of other people.
Also, the guy seems a bit like a player anyway. It might be better to just move on. You know your friendship better, and since you’re unsure about your feelings, it’s probably wiser to protect and preserve your friendship instead.

[Member]

Posts