[Madelyn]

Your friend and this guy are clearly very close. My advice is that when you’re talking to him, try not to make your friend the topic. If he brings her up, just gently change the subject. Take the lead in the conversation so it stays focused on the two of you.

When you go out, like for coffee, try suggesting that you both put your phones away so you can actually spend quality time talking without distractions. You can even show it by turning off or putting away your phone first—he might follow your lead.

[Madelyn]

If you don’t get the chance to see her and talk to her in person, try to at least get her number. Then you can start talking to her through text messages and ask her out during her free time.

[Madelyn]

First of all, can you think of anyone who would actually do that to him, and what would they even gain from hacking his accounts? That’s why I don’t really think it’s a hack—there’s a high chance that it really is him. It may just be that he’s becoming desperate, which is why he’s even swearing on his late mother and your unborn child to convince you.
My advice is to stay calm for now, especially since you’re pregnant and you’ve only recently gotten married. Try to analyze things carefully and understand where this problem might be coming from and why he is behaving this way. Once you’ve thought it through clearly, then you can try to resolve it properly.

[Madelyn]

There are only two possibilities here: either she is trying to get your attention when she’s sober just to keep you emotionally hooked, or she simply isn’t that interested in you romantically. It’s really hard to tell someone’s true intentions when their behavior only comes out when they are drunk.
But whatever the case, don’t try to get revenge on her. She was your friend before you confessed your feelings. A better approach is to be honest with her and ask clearly what she really feels about you. You should also tell her honestly that you truly like her and want to be treated with respect and clarity.
If she continues behaving the same way after that, then it would be better for you to distance yourself from her. She is not helping your peace of mind anymore. At that point, it may be healthier for you to move on and try to meet someone else.

[Madelyn]

Just to clarify—what you’re saying is that this happened before the two of you even met, right? So that means he didn’t actually cheat on you.
I think he still deserves another chance. Maybe he didn’t tell you about that part of his past right away, but it’s possible it wasn’t intentional to hide it from you. If he is still consistently showing you that he is worthy of you and proving his love and commitment, then you can still consider him.
What matters most is that it didn’t happen while the two of you were together.

[Madelyn]

It doesn’t necessarily mean that the way he is acting toward you means he already has romantic feelings for you. It’s possible that he really does see you like a sister now.

My advice is that if you don’t want him to see you only as a sister, you can try being a bit more flirtatious with him. Think of it as sending signals. And if it’s true that he is actually interested in you, then those signals might give him more confidence to finally admit that he likes you.

[Madelyn]

Just because he said he’s not dating anyone doesn’t automatically mean it’s true. There’s still a possibility that he might be seeing someone else.

When you stay over and you feel chemistry, especially in intimate moments, it doesn’t always mean he genuinely wants a relationship. It could be that he only shows that closeness when you’re together like that. There’s also a chance that he might just be using you and only interested in sex. I’m not saying I’m definitely right, but that possibility exists since he hasn’t been consistent with you.

Because when a man truly likes a woman, he is usually consistent and clear with his intentions. He shows it both in his words and his actions.

So my advice is: don’t expect too much from that guy. Let him be the one to pursue you. After all, you’re too good for that kind of situation.

[Madelyn]

Maybe you just don’t want to admit that you actually have feelings for that guy. You said he’s handsome and tall—basically your ideal type. Since you’re single, it’s not impossible that you might start liking him, especially because you were the one who first made the move to talk to him, even if it was for your friend. It was still you doing it.

You wouldn’t become obsessed with someone if you weren’t interested in them at some level. Maybe you just can’t admit it to yourself because you care a lot about your friend and don’t want to complicate things.

[Madelyn]

First of all, if you are already at the right age and capable of supporting a family, then you can consider marrying your girlfriend. Try to win over her parents and convince them that your intentions are good and that you are worthy of their daughter.

If they still don’t agree, then the decision ultimately lies with the two of you as a couple. In the end, it is still you two who will be together. Both families are part of your lives, but that doesn’t mean they should be the ones deciding for you.

Especially if you are already of legal age and not financially dependent on your parents, the choice should mainly be yours as a couple.

[Madelyn]

Since he’s your boss, I feel like his ego may have been hurt when you first rejected him. He might be interested in you, but he seems to want to be the one in control of the situation, not you. Especially since he likely holds himself in high regard because of his position.

In my opinion, he’s not looking for a long-term commitment. It seems like he just wants control, emotionally and physically, even when it comes to intimacy. So my advice is, don’t overthink it or try to find deep reasons for why he’s acting that way or why he keeps getting close to you.

[Member]

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