[Rosha]

Instead of getting angry at him, try bringing back the warmth and intimacy in your sex life. Also take care of yourself—make yourself feel attractive again, dress up, and focus on your self-confidence so you can feel good about yourself once more.

[Rosha]

That’s okay. Even if it’s not now, there will always come a time when things change. Everything changes eventually. You just need to be able to adjust quickly to those changes.

[Rosha]

The painful part is that you might be his “escape plan,” but he is still not sure. Now you’re stuck in a situation where you could end up waiting for nothing.
You also need to protect yourself from getting hurt. Right now, if he is not sure about you, it might be better to step back. Yes, it’s painful, but you need to endure it for your own well-being.
Because if in the end he still doesn’t choose you, that would hurt even more—and that’s the kind of pain you should try to prevent.

[Rosha]

It really depends on your conversation and mutual understanding. It’s not a big deal. You could spend this year apart and then next year spend it together. Or this year you go to your family, and next year you go to his family, or even just the two of you sometimes.
It really depends on give and take between both of you, and that’s actually the true meaning of Christmas—sharing and giving.

[Rosha]

If you truly love him, you won’t give up on him right now. He is still trying to become someone who is worthy of you and to also reach a point where he can settle down. He is still in a “work in progress” stage, so don’t give up on him yet.
You can also help him speed up his progress because you are his biggest motivation.

[Rosha]

Well, we’re not the ones who can answer that for sure. It’s better if you just try sending her a friend request and see if she accepts it. If she doesn’t, then try approaching her personally and ask for her number so you can start talking properly from there.
There are many ways to do it—just keep trying 🙂

[Rosha]

It’s still better if it’s simple—the most important thing is still the meaning and thought behind the wedding itself.

[Rosha]

It’s hard to decide because he isn’t really doing anything wrong, but you still don’t feel satisfied with what he’s giving. That likely means you are simply lacking enough effort and romantic expression from his side.
It could also be because he is a workaholic, so he has less time and energy for emotional and romantic connection. Or maybe he has never really been someone who expresses love in a very verbal or emotional way from the beginning.
I know you’re also a busy person, but my advice is to set aside time to talk about this with him so he understands your needs and can adjust if he is willing. Since you said he isn’t cheating and there’s no other woman involved, it may be that he genuinely thinks nothing is wrong with what he’s doing.
That’s why you need to communicate clearly and explain your concerns about the relationship so he understands what you need from him.

[Rosha]

I think she’s actually more confused. It seems like you’re the one making things complicated for yourself because you’re not being consistent with what you really want.
You do have a choice to decide what you want. If you want to pursue her, then choose to pursue her. If you want a relationship without drama, then don’t act in a dramatic way.
You should first figure out what you really want—whether it’s just friendship, something casual, or a girlfriend—so you don’t end up confusing yourself.

[Rosha]

It seems like it was already too late when you tried to get back together with him.
Jealousy is not really healthy in a relationship, but I can’t fully blame you because that’s a feeling people often go through, especially in long-distance relationships. The first thing that was needed was trust in him, especially since you didn’t really have strong proof for your jealousy.
It’s also normal that he would interact with other women wherever he was assigned or stationed. That’s something you need to understand.
What you can do now is try to show him that your behavior has changed and that you’ve improved. Then see if that changes his mind about you and the relationship.

[Member]

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