[Althea]

It seems like you’re very much “by the book.” But in my opinion, everything really depends on the situation. Sometimes, when circumstances call for it, we really do end up being forced to make decisions earlier than expected.

[Althea]

I feel like this isn’t just a one-night stand, because if it were, he wouldn’t waste time texting you afterward. But I don’t really know his intentions—whether he just wants sex or if he’s interested in something more romantic with you.

If you want an honest answer, you should ask him directly what he really wants.

[Althea]

You seem to want a lot of things at the same time, but that’s not really possible. You want marriage, but you also have feelings for Bill.
Maybe one reason your partner hasn’t fully committed to marriage is because he can sense that you still have feelings for Bill.
You need to choose one direction. Decide what you really want. If you want marriage, then focus on that and let go of Bill.

[Althea]

That’s right—you can just wait for him to make the first move. I think he might already be slowly starting to show interest in you.

You can also show a little bit of interest or give him subtle signs that he has a chance with you, so he’ll feel more confident to admit his feelings if he does like you.

[Althea]

For now, just enjoy your relationship with him so you can get to know each other better. Keep things light and continue flirting a bit. Show subtle signs that you’re interested in him, and if he decides to pursue you, there’s a good chance something more could happen.

Just don’t chase him—let him be the one to initiate. Observe things for a few months while still keeping that playful connection.

If it doesn’t work out, you can still maintain the friendship, but try not to expect too much. Also stay open to other relationships if someone new comes along.

[Althea]

For me, this is the best time to comfort her since she’s going through a breakup and trying to move on. This might actually help her heal faster.
Just keep showing her that you care for her, and that you are a better man than her ex, etc. In short, start courting her. Take it step by step. Tell her you’re not in a rush and just let her feel your presence and your interest in her.

[Althea]

That situation is really difficult. If you keep waiting for him, it might just take longer and longer, and in the end he may not actually have feelings for you.
It’s not always the best idea for a girl to be the one to ask directly, but if you really want an honest answer and to stop waiting, then you can ask him. That way you’ll finally know where you stand.
Just be prepared that after that, things between you two might become awkward depending on his answer.

[Althea]

In my opinion, your wife may be looking for a deeper or better level of intimacy that she isn’t currently experiencing in your relationship. That might be why this is happening.

Before it gets worse, it may help if you try to improve and “step up” your intimacy together. If her emotional and physical needs are being met in your relationship, she is less likely to look for anything outside of it.

[Althea]

It seems like he’s not interested in commitment right now and may just be looking for something casual without any commitment. When you expressed that you were looking for something more serious, that’s when he started to pull away and become distant.
Don’t text him anymore or chase him. If he genuinely wants you, he will be the one to reach out and make an effort.

[Althea]

Honestly, I’m the one who’s confused about you. You like him, but you’re never ready for him when it comes to a deeper relationship.
If you really want someone, then you want them—no more overthinking or hesitation. Maybe that’s one of the reasons his interest in you is fading, and why he suddenly started playing it safe and became inconsistent.

[Member]

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