[Vic128]

Lol, maybe what she means is that it’s safer—since it’s already turned off anyway, why not just unplug it from the socket? I don’t think she’s crazy.

[Vic128]

I think he is ready; he just has a lot of other things he’s considering. It’s like he’s trying to clear everything first so that when he moves, everything will be in order. Just give him enough time because this involves his family. Don’t pressure him too much.

Based on your story, he has been consistent in saying that he is ready. Just wait until the holidays are over, then talk again. In Filipino culture, holidays are very important, especially Christmas and New Year—they are usually celebrated with family.

[Vic128]

You need to take a break or break up with someone when you’re no longer happy. An unhealthy relationship is when you can’t agree on many things anymore and it often ends in arguments, even over very small reasons.

Especially in a long-distance relationship, there are a lot of requirements for it to work—patience, loyalty, trust, and many others.

Also remember, anything in excess is bad. So don’t let yourself be too overwhelmed by your love; make sure you still leave something for yourself.

[Vic128]

There are advantages and disadvantages whether you tell her before or after you propose. But maybe your daughter will understand you since she is already 19 years old and legally an adult. If she wants to, she can already be independent. You may just need to give her a proper explanation.

Explain that you also need a partner in life, because there will come a time when children grow up, get married, have their own families, and eventually leave your care. So you also need someone who will be with you in life and take care of you.

Just help her understand. She is not a child anymore, and she will most likely understand that.

[Vic128]

Aren’t you just overthinking it? It was only a “hey” that you saw and nothing more. How big of a deal is that to you that you’re already so confused about the situation?

But then again, it’s you. Just talk to him about it so you can understand the reason why he has that app and why he sent that “hey” message. That way, you can also have peace of mind.

[Vic128]

You should leave him because it’s true—you’re just being treated as an option. And imagine, he’s able to lie to his girlfriend even though he’s living with her. Don’t you think that says a lot about him? If he can do that to her, he can definitely do it to you too.

There’s a saying: once a cheater, always a cheater. And what you’re both doing to his girlfriend is clearly cheating. If he truly wanted you, he should have ended things with her from the very beginning.

[Vic128]

There could be many possible reasons for that. Don’t you remember doing something wrong when you were together, or even just while talking, that might have disappointed her?

It could also be that she lost interest in you because she met someone else. Or it could simply be that she’s busy.

Have you tried asking her why she seems so cold lately, so you can understand what’s wrong? That way, you can figure out how to fix it.

[Vic128]

I think it’s better to clarify it now so you’ll know whether it’s worth investing in him or not—it’s just being practical. Because that’s a long-distance relationship. It’s hard to be in a setup like that without commitment, because imagine spending so much time, and in the end, your way of thinking is different from his. In the end, you’ll just end up wasting your time.

[Vic128]

It’s not really a good idea for a girl to directly ask a guy like that. Why don’t you try flirting with him instead and show subtle signs that you like him, so he gets the hint without you having to ask him outright? Then see what he does.

Based on your story, it also seems like he might just be friendly, and some of the signs might be getting interpreted as more than they really are.

So my advice is to flirt with him a bit so he gets an idea that you like him. If he still doesn’t do anything, then maybe he doesn’t like you back—and that’s when you might need to take a step back.

[Vic128]

Have you already asked him why he seems like he no longer has time to talk to you, even just through text messages? Maybe he’s just busy. But it’s also possible that he lost interest in you—maybe he met someone else, which is why he’s now being more casual with you.

That can happen because you’re far away; he might prefer someone who is closer to him. That could also be why he didn’t meet up with you when you were in DC—so you wouldn’t keep hoping and so he could slowly reduce your expectations and interest in him. Maybe he just can’t say it directly because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

If it continues like that for a longer time, then that’s already your answer and you may need to move on. Things like that do happen—when you’re together, everything feels so good that it seems like you never want to be apart, but when you’re not together anymore, those feelings slowly fade too.

[Member]

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