[Quenie]

It’s possible she’s just busy, but it could also be that she’s starting to lose interest in you. Honestly, with dating apps, that’s pretty normal—people usually talk to multiple matches at the same time, so it’s not impossible for her to suddenly lose interest.

[Quenie]

As long as he is consistent, I think that’s enough to know that he’s really interested.

[Quenie]

First of all, just act normal—what I mean is, be yourself. Second, you need to be confident, even if there’s a possibility of rejection. That’s really part of courting. You have to be able to accept losing too, so you don’t get too emotionally down. That’s really all there is to it.

[Quenie]

People really aren’t all the same when it comes to how they show love. For me, it’s actually better when you can see it through actions rather than just words. The fact that he drives you to and from work is already really sweet.
But if you want to get what you need emotionally, just tell him. I don’t think it’s a big deal to ask him to say “I love you” or “I miss you” more often.

[Quenie]

Maybe it’s because he works 6 days a week, so that could be why. Based on your story, it doesn’t really seem like there’s a problem with him or your relationship. The only thing I can see as an issue is your overthinking and overreaction.
And if there’s still something else you want to say, then tell him—he’s already asking you what the problem is. Maybe he’s also willing to adjust for you if you open up to him.

[Quenie]

It’s really hard for it to be “just friends” because you already have a history. You can try that setup for now and see where it leads—whether you’ll get back together or if it really won’t work anymore.
But if there comes a point where it’s clearly not working, it’s okay to step back and focus on yourself first. Because if you don’t do that, you might both just end up stuck in that kind of situation.

[Quenie]

Don’t call him. Let him be the one to initiate—if he truly likes you, he should be the one making an effort to get closer to you and win you over. He’s the man, so for me it’s not a good idea for you to be the one calling him.

[Quenie]

Isn’t that what you wanted? That’s exactly what you asked for. You get irritated with constant texting or calls and always being asked for updates on how you are—now that you finally have the space you wanted, you’re confused if it’s normal.

For me, I think it is normal, and she’s probably just really busy. Now you understand how it feels for your exes too—you used to think they were just too needy, but that’s really how it is in a relationship, especially when someone is very attached to the person they’re with.

[Quenie]

Where did you usually talk when you were still together—reach out to her there.

If you see each other, just be natural. Say whatever you want to say. If you want to ask her to get back together, then say it directly—no beating around the bush, if that’s really what you want.

If she doesn’t agree, then it’s time to move on and choose yourself instead.

[Quenie]

Maybe just try not to pay too much attention to it. As long as things are okay between you and your boyfriend, and you’ve already talked about his ex, then that’s a good start.
It might just be a matter of stronger boundaries, because it still seems like the ex is crossing some lines if they’re still having one-on-one conversations at events where you’re all present. You should tell your boyfriend that he needs to be the one to take more responsibility in setting clear limits with her and avoiding those private interactions.

[Member]

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