Need Answers

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  • #1014
    smiley1979
    Participant

    None of my friends know that I like this guy. Anyway he emailed me on a singles website and asked if I was interested in chatting so we emailed each other. Anyway I ended up going to the same church as him and now we have a lot of the same friends. This past weekend, I helped out with something at the church and he appeared alone one night. He’s friends with one of my friends who was there. We don’t talk that much. Anyway, a group of us usually go out for lunch on sundays and the past couple of sundays he has come and he always sits across from me. When we were inside, he was reading while wearing his sunglasses which I thought was a bit odd. Also, after he left, I was talking about how I couldn’t stop thinking about finding a guy and his friend mentioned that the guy I like was on a singles website. I mentioned that I was also on the website. The friend said that the guy I like told him and his friends the night before that he was on this site. Anyway, I was wondering if there is a way to tell if he likes me. Also, what kinds of signs do guys show when they are interested in a girl? I mean shy guys as well as outgoing guys. What behaviors or habits take place? One guy told me that he could talk to any girl except the one he liked. Is this true? We don’t email each other much anymore. I sometimes email him about certain events that are going on. If I do email him, he will reply.

    #9322
    serendipidous55
    Participant

    It seems as if you have a rather sweet and innocent approach to being with men and that both of you are not particualrly experienced in developing a relationship. This is not all bad. Experience does not necesssarily mean success. But I think it is true that a man has to take the lead in the relationship .He must take the initiative to get to know you. If I thought he were really shy, I might tell him that I like his company and would like to get to know him better but that I don’t pursue men, that they pursue me. So it is not overly heavy. You made your interest in him clear. He can take the ball and go with it or not. If he can’t take that bait, well, then, I think he is not able to take any bait. You do not need to be in the business of hand holding a man to show him how to court you. Best of luck. You seem like a nice person.

    #9359
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    When a man likes you, you’ll know it. He’ll want your attention. He’ll light up when he sees you. He’ll want to be near you. And he’ll ask you out on a date. After the date he’ll call you. And eventually, he’ll ask you out again. He’ll want to do nice things for you. If he doesn’t do these things, don’t waste your time. He doesn’t like you enough to pursue a relationship. Don’t keep banging on a door that’s locked. Knock on the doors that you think may open, and if they don’t, move on.

    The great thing you’ve done is to put yourself out there and test the waters. Meeting people on dating sites or in real life is a great first step to seeing if they’re someone you’re interested in having a relationship with, and to see if you’re someone they’re interested in having a relationship with, too. The more you put yourself out there, the more you’re increasing the chances of meeting someone compatible. The reality is that you have to take a lot of rejections and do a lot of rejecting yourself before you meet someone who’s really right for you. And if you can look at the big picture, which is tough, but I know you can do it, you’ll see that when someone rejects you, they’re doing you a favor. They’re keeping you from wasting your time on someone who’s not right. That way, you can get back out there, and find someone who is.

    If you think about baseball, most great hitters have a tremendous number of strikeouts. But when they connect with the ball, they usually hit a home run. No one really remembers all those strikeouts. What they remember is that one amazing home run. The same is true with dating. You have to get up to bat, and be ready to strike out until you get that one amazing hit.

    You’ve already made yourself available to this guy by e-mailing him, and meeting him at church. He knows how to get ahold of you if he wants. In the meantime, keep putting yourself out there, smiling, looking great, living life well, and you’ll attract the man you deserve who wants to make it clear to you how much he likes you and wants to spend time with you.

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