I’ve known a guy since we were 11 – we were classmates – and we are now almost 20. I gave him my first kiss.
He liked me in 7th grade but it was a kids’ thing and we dated for 3 days, however, I know I hurt him.
I always felt attracted but I was after other guys.
All these years we’ve been going out with our old classmates and doing things together and we always had a connection and a lot of things in common) although he never really opens up.
Some months ago he asked me to go to his house and although he was still a virgin and we didn’t have sex, we were pretty close to and I was scared of falling too hard over him so I stopped it there and I know I made a lot of mistakes and said/did things I regret. I lied to his face when he asked me something about liking him.
Then I realized I was still in love with him and that I probably lost him forever and did the worst thing I could have done: I told him how I felt, not face to face, not on the phone, but by e-mail because I’m a coward.
I know he’s shy but it seems ridiculous to me that he’d say he only liked me as a friend after I opened my heart to him.
As I mentioned before, we have a lot of things in common, from bands and TV shows we like to our bedroom walls color no, it isn’t white).
Somedays he’s really nice and others he just acts like a douchebag. Sometimes he’s very immature.
And it hurts that a guy I’ve known for so long tried to use me for sex or because he was just too desperate to get rid of his virginity.
How can I get over him and stop believing he’s my one true love and we could have something beautiful when he obviously doesn’t care?
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