Relationship Advice Forum with April Masini

I Bee-Lieve

[tmnf_header_sidebar]

My boyfriend really isn’t anymore

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • August 11, 2009 at 2:59 pm #1130
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    my “boyfriend” and i heve been dating for almost 3 years now. I say almost because last summer I broke up with him only to realize he’s the greatest sweetest and most caring guy I’ve ever had. During our “break” he dated a real scumbag named Kayla. We all know that type of girl who uses her body to get whatever she wants from any and all guys, wether she’s already in a relationship or not. So needless to say he did EVERYTHING for her and she took all of his money, cheated on him, and treated him like dirt. If she wanted to do something, he was right there wallet in hand no matter the cost. Now we’ve been back together for 7 months and i can’t help but to be EXTREMELY jelous because the only thing he ever wants to do with me is either go to the bar and have me be his DD, go to the movies, or go out to eat. Plus he NEVER shows me affection…EVER. I get so jelous when i see people holding hands or kissing because everytime i try to, he brushes me off and tell’s me to stop. He says it’s because he’s not a fan of PDA, because it makes him uncomfortable and he dosen’t want to make other people feel that way, but the weird thing is that he practically humped in front of anyone and everyone when he was with Kayla, and i can’t even get a lousy kiss from time to time! And on top of that EVERYONE see’s this; and the fact that when we’re together with friends or even at a party he barely even talks to me. My friends tell me to ditch him because i’m just a “saftey blanket” and that he dosen’t treat me like a girlfriend..more like a friend. I love him and our break up last summer makes me afraid that i’ll realize again that he’s the only one. I don’t wanna make the same mistake again but i want someone who will actually treat me like a girl friend, sweep me off my feet you know. Lately, this all has been making me so insecure about myself. I keep finding myself compairing me to Kayla scumbag, and asking myself what she had that i dont! I’m not a cheater, or gold digger and money isn’t important to me, but i still keep thinking that somehow she’s better than me because she got my boyfriend to treat her like a princess even though she was and IS the worst girl someone could ever date! And it’s not like i ask for a lot, all i want is some virety when we go on “dates” like maybe a picnic or fireworks or even going to a fair or something, and for him to be more affictionate. help me!

    August 12, 2009 at 11:47 pm #9800
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    It doesn’t sound like you’re very happy with your boyfriend. In fact, it seems like you don’t like being with him, but you’re also afraid to be without him because that could be even worse. You’re in a really tough spot — always looking out the window to see how other people are treated and comparing yourself to them.

    You sound like you’re all over the place emotionally, and I think that rather than work on your relationship, you need to work on you first. You may be looking to your boyfriend to make you feel good about your life, but if you don’t feel good about yourself, no one is going to be able to do that for you.

    My guess is that your boyfriend is sensing your discomfort, frustration and unhappiness in the relationship, and that’s not making him feel very good about himself or the two of you. So, unless you can find a way to be okay with your own life, and then choose someone who makes you feel good when you’re with him, you’re constantly going to be in and out of the relationship — either just emotionally or emotionally [i]and[/i] physically, too.

    Take a look at your job, your social life and your physique and see if there are places that you might want to work on yourself to make yourself feel better. I bet that if you start taking care of you, the problems with your boyfriend will fall into place. EIther he’ll change in reaction to your changes; you won’t mind his behavior, or you’ll decide he’s not really the one for you. But until you’re centered with yourself, it’s too hard to start making relationship decisions.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Comments are closed.