is it over?

It’s definitely not over. Not yet, anyway.

For many women, sex is not as important or as recognized a need as it is for most men. It can be normal for your girlfriend’s sex drive to dwindle after a few years. In long term relationships a woman’s sex drive can go through peaks and valleys depending on physical and emotional changes. Stress can affect a sex drive, too.

The important thing for you to try and do is to get your sex life with your girlfriend back on track — or at least on a better track than it is now. Sex is important in the relationship and your girlfriend would be wise to understand that a healthy sex life in any relationship with a man is important. The best thing you can do is explain to her how sex is a crucial part of your well-being — and she is the one you want to have the sex with! Don’t make her feel defensive, but do explain to her that you need to have regular sex in your relationship with her in order for it to work out at all. The idea is not to give her an ultimatum but to let her know that without sex in your relationship, the whole thing won’t work.

I’ve written a great book for you and people like you who are in a coupled relationship and want to get the spice back in their relationship. It’s called Romantic Date Ideas and it will give you options for dates out and in that will help lead you and your girlfriend back to the track where sex is fun and integral to your relationship. You can click on the Dating Advice Books link above, and scroll down to find Romantic Date Ideas — and order it online, easily. I think this book will really help guide you back to romancing your girlfriend so she’s in the mood again.

Remember that long term relationships take work — and things like sex which once seemed to happen so easily and naturally, often take a little work (or sometimes a lot of work) to get back on track. But it sounds like so much else in your relationship is going well that it’s worth the effort to try working this out and not calling it quits.

No one said this, and I’m not sure this is great advice, but I don’t think I’d be in the mood if everything felt so ‘planned’ and everything felt so…’same old.

Maybe start working out, or just making yourself look extra handsome when you come home. Try out a new cologne, or even start doing your hair different.
Maybe even do things out of impulse more. Don’t plan to go to that restaurant, just go. Be more adventurous, and make things feel like..when you first met.