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April Masini.
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September 5, 2009 at 6:40 pm #1154
relationshipa1
KeymasterI lived with this guy freshman year in a dorm. We weren’t friends, but were friendly. I met back up with him junior year at a party. He asked for my # and started texting me right away, saying he wanted to take me out, he wanted to know if I was with anyone, and asked when he could see me again. Over the next couple of weeks he would text me on Fri & Sat night–we never met back up. We left for the summer and didn’t talk.
On the first weekend back I found out that I was living across the street from his best friends–so I texted to tell him. He immediately texted me back asking if we could meet up, he wanted to see me, etc. He came over-we talked for a couple of hours. He ended up spending the night. We made out–but I told him that I wasn’t going to sleep with him. He got up early the next morning and let. That night he texted me asking what I was doing-and wanted to know if he picked me up if I would go back to his place with him. I got to nervous and didn’t end up going.
I didn’t hear from him all week.
The following friday I texted him- to see what he was up to. He ended up pickung me up from a party. We went back to his house and again-talked, made out and then fell asleep. The next morning I had my roommate pick me up early- I think he was a little offended that I didn’t let him drive me back.
That was almost a week ago and I haven’t heard from him. I texted him once about something random-and he got back to me right away-but other than that weve had zero contact.
Noramally I would just think he was using me for a booty call–except were not doing anything. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I like him but I don’t think he feels the same way.Im really self conscious and cant put myself out there unless I know how he feelsSeptember 5, 2009 at 10:12 pm #9917April Masini
KeymasterYou were right. He was just using you for a booty call. He was hoping he could get you to have sex with him, and after a couple of tries, he realized you weren’t ready or willing to have sex, and moved on. He didn’t want to wait. He’s not interested in you as just a friend or as a romantic partner to have a long term relationship with. He’s just looking for someone fun and easy. Emphasis on easy. One of my big dating rules is don’t chase guys, and the reason I say this is not for any moral principle or value judgment. It’s because you can tell which guys want to go the distance for you and will be there for you through thick and thin when they go out of their way to chase you, ask you out, take you out, and treat you like a girlfriend, not a booty call. Not chasing guys (not calling them or texting them first) helps you weed out the boyfriend material from the booty call candidates.
Your first clue that this guy wasn’t boyfriend material was when he called you and texted you to get together on Friday and Saturday nights only. And I bet you weren’t his first or last call on those nights. A real potential boyfriend will ask you out a couple of nights before the date, if not a week before. He’s respectful of your schedule, and he wants to show you that this isn’t just a slap dash date — it means something to him — enough to plan it in advance.
Your second clue that this guy wasn’t boyfriend material was when he didn’t call you for a week after making out with you. In fact, you’re the one who texted him after that make out session! (Mistake.)
Clue number three was that between the end of junior year and now, he could have contacted you if he truly wanted to take you out. Even if he was away over the summer, he could have called you a week before school started, thinking he’d like to see you. But he didn’t. You texted him. (Mistake, again.)
Now that school is starting up again, try this rule of not chasing guys and see how it works for you. Let me know!
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