Relationship Advice Forum with April Masini

I Bee-Lieve

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April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Getting back into the game

Getting back into the game

April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Getting back into the game

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • August 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm #1187
    TJE
    Participant

    Hi all,

    So after a few years I am getting back into the dating game and looking for a new GF.

    I’m 29 and tbh it’s time to get serious again.

    So here is my current situation.

    6 of our friends gathered at a restaurant for a drink before we had to go to a wedding. My one friend had an old, longtime friend going with him to the wedding (yes they are just friends)

    One thing I noticed is the 1st comment (well more of a response) I made about something this woman laughed at. That was even before we where introduced, as I just joined the group. I did not introduce myself, but sat down and shortly thereafter she introduced herself.

    We talked along as a group and at some point I made a funny comment about something and she laughed again.

    We all went to the wedding and just in general all had a good time, had some drinks, shots etc. I did chat with her quiet a bit, but not excessively.
    At some point we realised that we know some of the same people from another town and then she said I should go with her to a party or wedding that other friend will have in the other town in about 2 months time from now (it was a few hours into the wedding and we all had some drinks and I dont know what to think about this)

    So we contunued on with the wedding and a bit later while standing @ the bar, waiting for drinks and chatting away she said I should take her number, and so I did.

    Now what exactly does the above say to you? What should it say to me? I’ve been out of the game for a few years now (had a longtime GF) but have really bumped my head before when asking someone out etc.

    So I really do like this girl, (how do you think she feels about me?) and that night we have fun chatting and partying together. Now if I want to see her again, I guess I need to ask her out. Waiting till we get together as a group will be to long and tbh I dont think thats the right aproach. (I am carefull these days thou)

    How should I go about this?
    How long should I wait before calling her and what exactly do I say, do I just ask her out on a date?
    What, where etc should this date be? Do I ask her out in the week after work, or on the weekend?
    Do I ask her for a drink @ the local cocktail bar? normal bar? Out to dinner and a relaxed fun restaurant or a upclass restaurant?
    Or can I ask her to acompany me to other friends big birthday party (people she dont know) – not allot of 1 on 1 time with this one.

    Any advice or help would be appreciated

    Thanks all 🙂

    August 31, 2009 at 11:51 am #10011
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    First of all, you need my book, Date Out of Your League. Click on the Dating Advice Books link at the top of the page, scroll down, and order Date Out of Your League. I’m going to give you advice for this specific question you’ve asked me, but reading my book is going to help you as you get back into the dating game, since you have so many questions. It’s a great $15 investment, and it’s a quick read, so get the book.

    Now, in terms of this woman who gave you her number — she couldn’t have made it more clear that she wants to go out with you. When a woman gives you her phone number, it means she wants you to ask her out on a date. So, you’re in luck. You like her, she likes you — now be the guy.

    Call her up and invite her out for dinner. Pick a place, a date and a time, so there is no confusion about whether this is a date or just hanging out. Show up at her place on time, looking and smelling great. If you really want to make a nice impression, bring her some flowers. A rose works. So do a dozen, depending on your budget. Trust me — either one will knock her out (in a good way). Enjoy a leisurely dinner at a romantic restaurant, and get to know her over the hour or two you spend there. Take her home, kiss her at the door, if you’re so inclined, and leave.

    If you had a great time, call her a day or two or three later, and ask her out again, this time to do something different. It can be a movie or theatre, miniature golf or the art museum. Take it slow, be the man always, and before you know it, you’ll be back in the game.

    But do read my book so you can reassure yourself that you’re doing the right things, as you get back in the game.

    September 4, 2009 at 3:07 pm #9690
    Steve
    Participant

    One other thing…you were very on top of noticing her laughing at your jokes. I’ve heard a lot of different theories about things that most attract women to men (e.g. food/chocolate, eyes, sensitivity, good abs, etc…), but the one thing that always seems to be the most consistent is that women are almost always attracted to men who can make them laugh. I don’t know why this is and I’m sure its not true for every woman, but my experience has been that the women that I have clicked with the best (whether as friends or girlfriends) are the ones that appreciate and understand my sense of humor.

    Like April said, she was definitely into you…and I’m willing to bet it was the laughing that got her started. The trick is now just keep being yourself, because she already likes that…don’t start trying too hard by pre-planning your comedy routine or anything…your natural wit seems to work just fine.

    Best of luck!

    January 23, 2016 at 8:18 pm #9976
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

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