Relationship Advice Forum with April Masini

I Bee-Lieve

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What’s going on?

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  • September 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm #1202
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    Dear April,

    I would really like to know what’s going on with me. The story starts ten days ago when I met this girl. I’d heard good things about her as a lot of my friends knew her and its a tight knit group, that I have just started to become involved with through several of the members (long and complicated and not that important) But basically we got on so well. We had a lot in common however she thought I had feelings for one of her friends because she was misinformed! Nothing happened because of this. We met a few times on consecutive nights and sometimes during the day with friends, still getting on well and having fun, realising we have a lot in common.

    She left for home which was about 2hrs train journey from where I live, in London. We excahange numbers and get talking and eventually we realise that we both had romantic feelings towards each other, we arranged to meet up in London in a few days. I had the best day, it was just amazing being with her. Every momment was precious and I honestly didn’t care what we were doing, it was just so good to be with her. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. As the day progressed we ended up in Hyde Park, London and had the most perfect kiss in which she later told me was the best of her life. I have to agree. From that point on we just kept kissing and being affectionate in public. This is something that neither of us normally do. Not in previous relationships anyway. The day ended and we said goodbyes. We’ve continued to talk and text etc and mutually agree that we can feel something special that we never have before.

    The problem here is, that she started today, a 3 year course at university that is 4 hours from mine. (I am going into my final year in a week). So when at home she is 2 hours from me, and during term time she is 2 hours from me. It just doesn’t seem logical, but it just feels so much like I shouldn’t let it go this easily. She agrees. What is it we are feeling? Is it because I have met someone special? Maybe because we knew it would be difficult to make a relationship work? Can we make it work? We both realise that we are getting WAY ahead of ourselves and its only been ten days, but it just feels right. So so so right and worth making the effort for. I’ve not felt like this about anyone, not even the girlfriend of 1 year I had. She is 19 and I am 20 by the way so I guess, new to this life and love.

    September 19, 2009 at 9:02 pm #10071
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    You had a wonderful, romantic interlude with a great young woman. But the reality is that you both live far enough away from each other, and are both starting rigorous college semesters so that a “normal” relationship where you’d see each other once or twice a week on dates, or if she were at the same university you are, during classes or on campus, is impossible.

    My advice to you is to accept this romance for what it is, but don’t try and force it into something it isn’t meant to be. Keep in touch with her, and plan to get together the next time it is mutually convenient, but also accept that you’ve already had one misunderstanding (where she thought you liked someone rather than her) in your 10 day romance, and there’s a good chance that with distance and more frequent communication, there may be at least a few more misunderstandings that could taint the lovely time you have had together.

    I know it’s hard to keep things light when you feel like you’re on the verge of full blown love, but the reality is that distance makes people incompatible. So keep in touch until a time when the distance is no longer such a challenge, and keep your mind and your heart open to more romance in your life, like this.

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