Moving in together after 3 months

Stop what you are doing. You are not listening to yourself. The reason you wrote me is because you already know there is something very wrong with your moving in with your boyfriend under the circumstances you describe. Now, I’m going to tell you what you already know.

Do not move in with him. Did you hear me? DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM.

Your boyfriend DOES NOT treat you like a princess. A princess, gets what she wants, and is respected by everyone — including herself. You sure aren’t acting like a princess, and he sure isn’t treating you like one. You’ve made it clear you want to be married, but he’s not only not offering you marriage, he wants you to move in with him so you can’t find that shot at marriage with any other man because you’re going to be living with him. This is a bad idea.

Here’s what you need to understand about yourself: For whatever reason, you dated and married a man you’d been with since you were 15 years old. Now, 9 years later, you’re divorced for less than 9 months, and have dated a guy for 3 months, and have been clear you want marriage, and he’s been clear he’s not going to give it to you — now or possibly ever. Yet, you’re going to take yourself off the market so you can’t possibly find Mr. Right, in exchange for what? A gamble that this guy will change? A bad gamble, since you’re already concerned he’ll finish his college degree and move abroad for a career — without you?

Wake up!!

He’s not lying to you. He’s not even TRYING to pull the wool over your eyes. You’re doing it all yourself. And if you do move in with him, and are dumped 3 years later when he moves abroad, you’ll have no one to blame, but yourself.

So don’t do that.

I want you to [b]not[/b] move in with this man, and I want you to start dating other men. You only divorced this year, and you’re only 24. You need to spend at least 2 years dating other people and finding out who you really are and who other people really are. Rebound relationships never work. I know that divorce is scary, and you’ve gone from your parents home to your husband’s home, and you’re trying to replace what feels like a lost limb by creating another home. Mistake.

This is your time to be alone and face your fears. This is a time to find out who you really are, because it’s truly during these times of uncertainty that our character comes through. Get a job, or go back to school, or both. Get some FEMALE roommates if you can’t afford to live on your own, but do not move back in with your parents. You’re a woman now, not a 15 year old girl, or even an 18 year old bride. You’re divorced, and you’re 24 — and you have the rest of your life in front of you to recognize and fulfill your dreams. So dream big. And don’t settle for some guy who’s offering you a pittance of what you’re worth.

Get my book — Think & Date Like A Man. You can click on the Dating Advice Books link above, scroll down to Think & Date Like A Man, and order it online. It’s $15.95 and will save you loads of money — and time — wasted on bad dates and bad relationships. You need to read this book, a chapter a day or a chapter every few days. Read it with your girlfriends, and discuss it so you can make my advice work for your specific dreams in life. You need some guidance right now, and you can write to me with any questions you have along the way. I want to hear from you.

But do what I’m telling you. Do not move in with this man. Start dating other men, and do NOT rush into anything. The one thing you don’t want to waste is your time — with the wrong man.

I made that mistake of allowing my boyfriend to move in with me only after 3 months of dating. I am speaking from experience, do not do it. Take the time to get to know him and see what he wants out of life, your friend is already telling you what he wants and it sounds like he don’t want to marry you but he wants to make sure you do not venture out. You just got a divorce, you need time to yourself, to think about what it is you want out of life and relationships. I am having trouble now with my relationship because I did not take out the time to get to know my boyfriend, just take things slow.