never been so lost

Let me be your flashlight so you can find your way out of the dark woods! 🙂

You are very clear about who your boyfriend is and who you are and what the situation is. That’s good. Now, you have to take a step back and imagine you had a best friend or a daughter, who has been with a guy for 2 1/2 years who has never given her a commitment, has fooled around on her, and has now moved in with her, but she doesn’t trust him, with good reason. Wouldn’t you tell her that she’s allowing herself to be taken advantage of? You bet!

Only it’s not the boyfriend who’s doing the wrongdoing. It’s her — and that ‘her’ is YOU!

The only way you’re going to find what you say you want in a man, is to value yourself enough so that everyone else around you does, too. If you sell yourself short, so are other people, and that’s what you’ve done. Self-respect is contagious, in a good way. If you start giving yourself the respect you deserve, you’ll find yourself surrounded with like people. Like attracts like, so the self respecting woman, who gets the respect she gives herself, and deserves. 🙂

You’ve made some big mistakes, and it’s important to look at them so you don’t repeat them, but don’t beat yourself up over them. You can correct them now, but let’s take a look.

You dated a guy who didn’t want a commitment. Mistake. 🙄

You knew he was “messing around” but you stayed in the relationship. Mistake. 😮

You moved in with him without a commitment or a sense of a future together. Mistake.

Now, you can’t trust him and you tell him that HE deserves better than a woman who doesn’t trust him. Beyond mistake. 😯 Pathetic. (Sorry, but it’s true.) If some bully was beating you up in an alley, would you apologize to him for being in the alley? No! You’re sinking into this low self esteem faster than an anchor in clear water.

So, let me help you change your life. It’s going to be hard work, but you [i][b]can[/b][/i] do it — especially if you really want a man who will commit to you and want to marry you. So keep that prize in mind when you’re having to do the hard work.

First of all, try and understand that you’re in a no win situation right now. There is no way this man wants a relationship with you and he’s made it very clear. I know you get it, but what you don’t get is your own value. I bet you’re attractive, smart, talented, fun, romantic, passionate, interesting and curious about the world. That counts for something in a relationship! In fact, it counts for a lot. Understand what you bring to the table. You’re loyal, sexy, empathetic and a great companion. You want a family, a future, and more with a man. Do you know how many men are out there who want that with a woman? A LOT!! 😉

But as long as you are living with this guy, you’re not available to any of those other men. You’re taken. It doesn’t matter if your boyfriend treats you like a live in roommate he can sleep with — no decent man is going to date you as long as you’re living with this guy.

So move out.

Yes — move out.

Surround yourself with friends and family who truly care about you and your goal of being with a man who is Mr. Right. They’ll help you as you break up with this guy (yes, I said “break up with this guy”) and start focusing on yourself.

Yes, this is going to hurt. Break ups are supposed to hurt. You’re going to miss him as long as you continue to remember the good stuff and not the situation you sunk yourself into with this guy. So stay sharp! Hard work hurts sometimes, whether it’s building muscles in the gym, giving birth to a baby or pulling an all nighter to prepare for a final exam at school. Buckle up. Life is tough and it’s not for the weak or the faint of heart. You have what it takes — I know because you wrote me! 🙂

Once you start taking care of yourself, you’re going to be a magnet for men. I want you to order my book called Think & Date Like A Man. You can get it at this link [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] for only $15.95, and it downloads immediately. You can start reading this weekend! The book will help you focus on what you want in life (Mr. Right) and how to get it. It will be a guide that you can read each day (even a page a day) to help you move forward into a life full of love, happiness, sex and respect. If you can get out of this relationship you’re in now, anything is possible — and all of it good.

I hope this helps. You deserve Mr. Right. Now, do the work, and make yourself available to him!