Dating a very busy girl

First of all, you have to re-think your role, as the guy, in the relationship. That’s going to help a lot. It’s my theory that relationships work best when men do the chasing, and women give them something to chase. When that doesn’t happen, all kinds of problems occur within the relationship. I think that’s what you’re seeing. You don’t like chasing her. You want her to give you a tacit commitment by texting multiple times a day (like your old girlfriends that you claim were too needy), and to be okay with your spending every weekend at her place. I’m sorry to tell you it’s not going to happen. I know you say you’re tired of being the one to initiate texts, but you’re the guy, and this is a new relationship. She’s not being rude by not responding — she’s dating smart, and evaluating the relationship as it goes. If you want a woman who is independent, you’ve got one! She knows it’s your job to do the initiating. I don’t think [i]you[/i] got the memo, however. 😉

Your showing up drunk at her apartment and crashing was rude and took advantage of her good nature. You’re still new in the relationship, and it was wrong for you to assume it was okay for you to show up and crash, drunk. She probably didn’t talk to you the next day, because she was conflicted about her feelings. This was a flashing yellow light in the relationship for her. She doesn’t feel committed to you enough to tell you your behavior was bad. She’s just not going to give you as much of her time as a result. I’m pretty sure she’s still figuring out if this relationship is working for her.

When she didn’t text you for 4 days, but said everything was cool, clearly, it wasn’t. She isn’t the type of woman who’s going to complain to you, but she will change her behavior if she doesn’t like how things are going, and that’s what she did. You won’t get drama with this woman, but you’re not getting a full on commitment, either, so if you want one, you have to change your strategy.

I strongly suggest you check out my book called Date Out of Your League, written for men who want a woman, and aren’t quite sure how to get her. You can get the book here at this link. [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] It will really enlighten you at a time when you’re newly out of college and working full time — perfect time to start stepping up your dating game!

You have to balance chasing this woman — with throwing yourself at her! 🙂

“Nice guys” who are always there for a woman don’t get womens’ respect, and get walked on. So, you don’t want to chase her to the extent that you look desperate. Or too available. It’s a tricky balance, but once you get it, it’ll be like the same balance you have when riding a bike. It will stay with you.

When you ask about how much space to give this woman, the real question is how much space do you allow her to take up in your life! In other words, while you’re chasing her, you also have to make yourself appear not too available. If you ask her out for every day in the week, you’re going to look pathetic and like you’d do anything to get her. The truth is, strong, independent, successful women want to feel like they’re getting a real winner in a guy. You’ve got a college education, a full time job, you’re attractive and the sex between the two of you is good. Now, balance the chase with your own value as a great guy.

It’s all in my book — and a chapter a night will lead you right up to success! I promise.

Date Out of Your League [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] is required reading for you this weekend. It’s worth the $14.95 commitment for someone who’s uncertain about dating women like the one you want — confident, independent and successful women. Most men need a little help with this kind of situation, and you’re not alone.