I need some advice

Your feelings of loss and sadness can be normal, depending on how long you were with your ex, and where you are in your life now. If you haven’t moved on in your own life, it’s understandable that you’re looking backwards at what you’ve lost, not what you’ve got, or what you have to look forward to.

My advice to combat these feelings you’re having is to start taking care of yourself in ways you haven’t before. Some of this work is going to sound really simple, starting with getting enough sleep. Then when you’re awake, make sure you eat well and exercise. Endorphins released in your body during exercise naturally combat depression. Grooming really makes a difference in how you feel, and if you get good haircuts, make regular salon appointments, have your nails done, and if it’s in your budget schedule massages and facials, you’re going to feel a lot better than you do now. Giving yourself a makeover, by tossing out clothes you don’t wear, and replacing them with new, flattering pieces will give you a feeling of control over your own life. You’ll also feel like you’re making space in your life for someone new when you’re not sitting in a rut.

Then you can start dialing up your social life by volunteering, getting involved in charities, political events or other clubs and hobbies you’ve always wanted to check out, but didn’t. Change up your daily routine. If you walk your dog in a certain area, start a new walk routine. If you always frequent a certain coffee shop or lunch spot, switch that up, too.

Start smiling at people. And when they smile back, notice how you feel. Pretty soon, you’ll find yourself flirting with cute guys, and noticing how attracted you are to men who aren’t your ex.

You can always hold a place in your heart for an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, but don’t live in that place. Open your self and your heart to everything else life has to offer you. 🙂

Well, if you’ve tried the things I’ve already advised, and they’re not working, you need to understand that not everybody in life is going to want you. Your ex-boyfriend is one of those guys who didn’t want you, and that is normal. People fall in love and get their hearts broken all the time because one person wants a person more than that person wants them. You are not alone in that rejection. But what is important is that you move on and live a healthy life.

While it’s fine to entertain a fantasy of him wanting you back, and maybe one day realizing what a mistake he made in rejecting you, it’s not normal to spend 2 years obsessed with wanting your ex-boyfriend to want you again — especially when it’s interfering with your relationship with a new boyfriend. If your feelings about your ex-boyfriend are interfering with your everyday life, you have a real problem that is not normal.

Again, my advice is to do things you haven’t already done to distract yourself from this fantasy you have of your ex-boyfriend wanting you back again, and in addition, understanding and mustering your wells of maturity to know that rejection is part of dating, and you can’t always have everything you want.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

There is no magic wand to be waved that will help lessen the pain of rejection, and everybody has their own time frame for recovering from break ups and feelings of loss. The suggestions I gave you should help a lot. Exercise is also a great way for your body to generate endorphins, a natural chemical that combats depression, so get your exercise everyday.

If what your feeling is interfering with your day to day routine, then see your doctor or a psychiatrist who may be able to help you with what I can’t.

Good luck.