April:
My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 4 1/2 years. She lives in L.A. and I in S.F. and despite the long distance issue we have managed to have what I think is a pretty good relationship. FYI she is a single mom with a 12 and 9 year olds. I am divorced with a grown son and I have no financial obligations to my ex.
lately I have noticed that we have not been communicating/sharing as much as before. I have asked her if she wants to continue in the relationship or not. She has repeatedly assured me that everything is fine between us and that she just feels “tired” lately. FYI, she does have a disease called lupus which she had when I met her and I know that one of the symptoms is exteme fatigue. She recently had a bad outbreak last month that left her with bad blotches on her skin. This is a common sign of lupus but this last outbreak was really bad and I sense that she understandably has a body image issue now because of the illness. The illness has understandably affected her self esteem.
My girlfriend has never given me reason to doubt her honesty in the past and I do not believe that she is seeing someone else. Neverthe less, I do feel conflicted: On the one hand, I want to be supportive of her because I really care about her and us and I value our relationship. On the other hand, it is impossible to have a one sided relationship. Latel, I feel resentful sometimes when I call her because she does not often call for long periods of time.
In other words, there is lately almost no reciprocity.
A few days ago I called her and had a serious discussion of this issue. My girlfriend says that she doesn’t know how long she is going to live and she feels that she needs to give all of her time to her kids and that she feels extemely fatigued all of the time. She reassures me again that she is happy with our relationship and does not want to break it off.
D
.
