I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 5 months now and we only see each other on the weekends. I drive 50 miles one way to see him, he doesnt drive to see me because it works better for our schedules and he has a 13 yr old son to care for full time.
When we see each other we do spend alot of time together. We watch movies, cook together sometimes go out to see friends, or go shopping. and we always have a good time. However, he is a computer addict and i told him sometimes it hurts my feelings when he leaves me on the couch to go play games/surf the net. Or sometimes in the morning he wont get off the computer to help make breakfast. When he does this he will spend 30 min to a full hour on the computer. Sometimes ill be waiting for him to come to bed but ill be asleep when he finally does.. THEN he will expect intamacy. there have been a couple times that after intamacy he will get up to go sit on the computer. I told him that sometimes i feel second to his electronics. One time i texted him telling him i was upset about something crying and he invited me over and when i got there he didnt even answer the door. he heard me come in yet didnt come down. I had to go look for him and sure enough he was playing games, he looked at me and said, “I was supposed to be finished with this by the time you got here”. So I just stood there feeling more upset that he couldnt get off the comp and put me first being i was there. When i told him this he said he feels its not a big deal if I have to wait only a couple min.
So im not sure what to do. He invited me to live with him but i suspect things will get worse. I always have to tell him either directly or in other ways that i want him to spend that time with me. i dont want to live with him and never see him. I dont want to have to tell him every time hes on the computer that i want him to spend time with me. It seems like he thinks that if i dont say anything then its ok to leave me hanging. As if he can ‘get away with it’ then. he told me his personal time is extreemly important to him but how much is too much? he plays this nerd game 2 nights per week from 8 till midnight. i told him when he does that its like hes not even home. its the same as someone getting in there car and leaving. How much is too much? Whats fair?
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