Hello everyone,
Before I begin, I apologise for the lengthy post. I just wanted to provide all the information…
My fiance and I have been engaged for almost four years and we have a very open and trusting relationship. Recently my fiance’s laptop stopped working so I loaned him mine as I don’t need to use it very often. This week I needed a computer to do some work at home and I used mine as he now has a new laptop. I opened up a web browser and clicked down on the drop down bar so I could access a link to a search engine and a website caught my eye. The website cam4.com was listed in the browser and not knowing what it is I clicked it. While I didn’t expect him to have opened up a pornographic website on my laptop I brushed it off as I know we both have watched pornographic material both alone and as a couple in the past. What I didn’t expect however was it to log into his registered homepage. I was really shocked to see that he had an actual account on the website however I thought he was just using it to gain access to different material.
Being nosy (I know it’s really really wrong so please don’t lecture me) I scrolled through and read his profile which can be seen whenever someone accesses his page. His profile stated that he has been an active member since 2009 (the year we got engaged), that he is in an “open-relationship” (not true as I thought we were in a committed relationship), he hopes to have a threesome in the future (something we’ve joked about but I didn’t believe either of us was serious), he’s up for cyber sex and finally, not only has he been watching other people on this website, he has also been going on camera for other people (I have no idea what he’s been doing).
The worst insult was that while I was in hospital having an operation, he was online “camming” for other people.
I really have no idea how to approach this. Technically he hasn’t cheated but I feel betrayed and deeply hurt by what he has done. I don’t feel like I’m good enough and it’s made me question everything I thought I knew about him and our relationship. I’ve tried not to think about it but in my heart I know that I need to talk to him about this. I just don’t know where to start.
Any advice?
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