Confidence issue !

Dear April,
You are one of the most generous people I ve read from in my entire life. It is amazing how you take the time to concentrate and read our letters, how you involve yourself mentally in our love issues and then write to each of us . I ve read through a lot of your replies. You are truly complex and in the same time very concise in your answers. I believe I can already see you in Heaven for all the work and good you do to us.
I am touched by your generosity. It is beyond words .
Tell me if there is something I can do for you.
With infinite respect and admiration,
Green Valley

I am trying very hard to have a change of perspective on money issues in my relationship. I still feel I would like to have intimacy on emotional level only that revealing to him where I exactly stand scares me to the point that I am getting depressed over it. . . Not really depressed but sad. I am scared April, because I know that he likes woman financially strong and I am not there yet.
Recently I found out that I need a surgery that needs a bone transplant and all my decisions regarding it Are already done in my mind . . Unfortunately with the underlying thought that I ll be my own woman and go and have it done even without him being there and insisting that I don’t want him to be there and see me in such a circumstance.
And this is not the only aspect where I am not transparent with him. I filter most of the information I give him in general and mostly my emotions. I filter everything in fact. The way I react , to way I feel. . . I talk very little about my family problems , my own problems . . . Sometimes I say some facts but most of the times No !
I have always been secretive and extremely careful with what I say , even with my friends , even with my parents. Nobody really knows much about me and I never talk about my love relationship with any of my friends except in a few instances when I was too upset and I talked and then regretted . And I did not talk to my close friends I talked to someone that I don’t see or talk on regular basis.
I was planning to have some psychotherapy, only that yesterday I realized that I won’t be able to completely open to the therapist.
It is impossible for me at the moment to disclose myself . Sad. . But true.

Dear April,

I followed your advice and told him about the surgery, but did not ask anything. And then something amazing happened. Not only that he was very supportive , within one hour he made sure I had all the finances needed. But it is not only about the money. It is about the way he made me feel and what he said. ” I am your lover, your friend and your man .” 🙄
You are so much right. April, you are an amazing expert wizard.
All that conflict and tension within myself dissappeared and that is because you helped me going out of that stupid comfort zone.
All my gratitude and respect for all the precious time and effort you spend for me. And lots of love for you.
Green Valley