You and your boyfriend are both 32 and have been together for two years. It sounds like you’re less confused than you are disappointed. And you’re not being controlled and manipulated as much as you’re choosing to be a victim. 😕
Your boyfriend is very angry and he’s taking his anger out on you. For some reason you’re enabling this behavior by not using boundaries and allowing it to be the norm. The question is, why are you doing this? What are you getting out of this dynamic? If you want to visit your elderly father, you should — and if he doesn’t want you to, then he’s not putting your best interests at heart. And if he doesn’t care about your best interests, there’s no healthy reason for you to be together. And yet, you stay. 😳 You’ve listed a lot of complaints about him…. the question is, why are you with him for two years? What are you getting from the relationship that trumps what you’re giving up?
My advice is to invite him to go with you to visit your father, and if he declines, and says if you go, the relationship is over, you need to respect his decision, and abide by you’re own. You’re right — your father won’t be around forever and if you don’t visit him because of this situation, you will feel guilty. So don’t give yourself a chance to have that regret. When you start doing the right thing, you’ll find you have easier choices to make and healthier people to make them with. 🙂
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