Help!! i dont know what to do

This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 1 month ago by April Masini.

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May 20, 2009 at 3:58 pm #984

yd122389
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my husband is on his way to germany from iraq.
its been a few days he been acting diffrent and well before we got married he cheated on me we broke up for alsmot 2 years and then we got back together he said he change and he wasent the same so we got back together and he did he was not the same so we went out for one year so before he left to iraq he ask me to married him and i said yes so everything went well but one day we got in a fight over a comment his bestfriend /girl had said and he was really mad and he told me he was going to tell her to get out of our lifes. so i try to work things out but something told me he never send her that mess. so later that nigth she text me and told me she was sorry and blah blah but i ask her look how many emails he sent you and she said just one but im sorry if i said something you didnt like and she click so i logg in his email to see what he send her and i was shock 😮 she told her to please ignored me like she always ignore all his ex she never like and told her you know i love you to death but your comment made her feel bad i dont even know why but just dont tell her nothing ignored her. so i was really upset and told him off but he said he did send her to emails and idk what but he send her one rigth away. so we talk it out and we clear it out and even thoh is hard for me is hard to trust him 🙁 and well up to yesterday i logg in to his yahoo messenger and i seen a girls mess and i read it and it said i cant wait baby im going to see you in 3days your finaly in germany we finaly meet. so i told him about it and he said it was a 45yrs old wich i dont believe suppostbly his sister adopted y husband in the soldiers list but i mean for her to send hims and xbox and expencive things its kind of wired i want to divorce him im realy heart broken and i dont know what to do please help me

May 24, 2009 at 1:33 am #9203

iammrzwill
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I understand where you are comming from sometimes you have to follow your heart and your first mind, because when someone is cheationg on you they will make up any and every lie possible for you not to find out. That apparently was a recent message, if it was dated recent, I know that when you are married you have to trust one another, but when you are finding things in that matter and having such suspicion, it’s probably because you are NOT crazy and your partner is not being faithful. I think that maybe you should confront him and give him and ultimatim make him believe that you KNOW what is going on and you’re no longer putting up with it. Be strong YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT. YOU ARE A STAR

May 25, 2009 at 2:17 am #9208

relation
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Do not bother yourself with it, leave the unpleasant behind and move forward in your life. Remember that such situations get out the best within you, God is taking care of you and he is blessing you every moment. He has closed one door, just to open the second one (and may be a better one).

July 16, 2009 at 9:33 pm #9561

April Masini
Keymaster

I’m sure that you have a lot of confusing feelings because you have a history of infidelity with your husband, and he is far away right now, so you don”t feel secure about his loyalty to you.

That said, I think it’s very sad, but it’s time for you to move on. Your husband has a need to be around women when you are not there, and this isn’t working for you. Trust your instincts. Keep the drama level low if you can, and take care of business. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people, especially those who have gone through divorce and can help guide you. It’s a bumpy road, but staying on the path you’re already on is going to get you no where good.

Accept the fact that this is a man who needs a woman in every port and preferably more than one. It’s not you. It’s who he is. I hope that allows you to move through any rejection you may feel when a marriage fails, and move forward with your life, allowing him to move forward with his own — on his own.
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