Hello!

I’m 22 I’ve been with the same guy for over 5 years now. He’s 26. We are about to move in together. We even have a cat that stays at his place. I’m just getting bored and feel like our relationship is not progressing..

We got together when I was still in high school. He was my first good, healthy relationship. Previous boyfriends were abusive or “broken” and I wanted to be the fixer. Everything was good in the beginning.. talked all the time, sex was good and plenty, we went out together.. then we slowly became hermits and way too into each other. This whole time, we were in a long distance relationship, an hour drive between us. We only hung out on weekends, sometimes every other, and we spent all the time together. We like to think we’re perfect for each other.

We talk about our future all the time, marriage, kids, a house, etc. I love him and care about him, but the thrill is GONE! I’m not interested in sex at all, he still is. I’ve gained 40 pounds (oh..but I’m still what he wants)! I’m losing my attraction for him. I am rarely even excited to see him or hang out with him. We don’t go out on dates, and we’re boring. I’ve never been boring, and now that I am I hate it. I still go out every now an again but rarely does he go out with me. He always says he can’t wait til I’m ready to be boring, to not go out or do things. And I don’t think I ever would be happy like that. He’s kinda set in some of his ways and I’m just graduation college and about to embark on the next chapter of my life.

We recently signed a lease together. (It’s month to month). I have never had doubts about our relationship or moving in together, but I am so unhappy. Also, I’ve been seeking attention elsewhere. I haven’t cheated, but have come close twice in the last few years. My definition of cheating is anything physical like kissing, touching private parts, sex, etc. I dance with guys, but it’s not cheating, and I don’t get attracted like that to the guys I dance with. I recently did. Since, we’ve been texting each other, facebooking, and the other night it got pretty graphic. I really wanted this guy. I did not give in to my desire to cheat. But I wanted to, really bad! He even came over when I was outside for a smoke and we sat together for a little while. and he left. I’m stringing this guy along and I really like him. I really haven’t wanted another person before.. or maybe it’s because I haven’t allowed myself to because I’m so comfortable with my boy. There have been a couple times where I wanted someone else.

UGH!! I’ve even considered asking for a break to see other people. Like, I am ready to talk about it tonight. My guy knows I’m unhappy, we talked about it over a month ago. I said I didn’t want to lose him, and if I have to be unhappy I would. He thought it was sweet. I’m not sure how much more you need from me, and I hope to god you can help. I don’t want to cheat, but I don’t want to miss out on all the fun that I’ve been missing for so long! This is my first long-term relationship and I’m not sure if I want it to be my last and only.. HELP!